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38 Funny Bus Jokes & Puns That’ll Actually Make You Laugh

A bus driving to avoid people sharing bus jokes and puns

The great thing about funny bus jokes and bus puns is that they’re relatable and easy to bring up. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you live, you see buses all the time!

This list of bus jokes and puns will give you a chuckle the next time you see these long vehicles lumbering by. Or if you’re stuck on one next to someone who smells, it might be enough to get you through the suffering!

  • What type of bus crossed the ocean? Columbus.
  • Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him to madness.
  • What job can get you fired for going the extra mile? Bus driver.
  • Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
  • Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
  • Today was a rough day. First, my ex was hit by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver!
  • What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
  • What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking right behind your back.
  • I got fired after giving up my seat on the bus for someone. I guess you can’t do that when you’re the bus driver.
  • I couldn’t get my refrigerator to work today. I had to take the bus instead.
  • How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
  • Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
  • What is yellow, and doesn’t know how to swim? A school bus.
  • I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else.
  • Why can’t the kids take the school bus to school? It wouldn’t fit through the door.
  • Which end of the bus should passengers get off at the end of their ride? It doesn’t matter, both ends stop.
  • What happened to the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
  • Did you hear all the buses are stopping today? It’s to let passengers off.
  • Is the bus running on time? No, it runs on wheels.
  • What did the bus say to the frog ? Hop on.
  • Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
  • My brother always goes the extra mile at work. That’s why he was fired from his job as a bus driver.
  • What’s the most important part of an electric bus? The conductor.
  • Why did the bat miss his bus ride home? He was too busy hanging around.
  • Will the bus stop by the river? Well, if it doesn’t, there’s going to be a huge splash.
  • Why do school bus drivers have to stop at all railway crossings? That’s how they were trained.
  • I just installed a trampoline on a musician’s tour bus. I guess you can say they’re jumping on the bandwagon.
  • What’s the difference between a cake and a city bus? I don’t know. Then I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick out my birthday cake.
  • What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
  • What type of game does a monster play on the school bus? Squash.
  • What did Harry Potter do when the Hogwarts Express broke down? He grabbed a ride on the magic school bus.
  • What do you get when you combine a skunk with King Kong? Someone who doesn’t have to fight for a bus seat.
  • My awful day started when I fell asleep on the school bus this morning. What makes it worse is that I was the one driving.
  • What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
  • I landed my dream job today! An expensive company car and a view of the city. I love being a bus driver.
  • A man was struggling to get onto the bus, but it was so full people kept pushing him out. “Why should we let you on!” the passengers shouted. “It’s too full!” “Because I’m the bus driver,” the man shouted back. “Can this city bus take me to New York?” “Which part?” “All of me!”
  • What’s the difference between a school bus and a birthday dinner? I don’t know. Then I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick up my order.
  • Passenger: One ticket to New York, please. Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo? Passenger: No, by bus!

Any Favorites?

We hope these funny bus jokes and bus puns resonated with you. It’s always nice to have some of these in mind the next time you need to ride in one (or are stuck behind one in traffic).

If you know any other good bus jokes and puns, let us know! We’ll add whichever ones we like.

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The Best Bus Jokes That Will Have You Laughing At Every Stop

The Best Bus Jokes That Will Have You Laughing At Every Stop

Jack Napier

You've come to the right stop, your list of best bus jokes has arrived! Get ready to take a ride on the punniest ride you'll ever embark on. This is your ticket to laughter with a collection of bus jokes that are sure to drive you to tears (from laughter, of course).

Whether you're a frequent bus passenger or just along for this ride, these jokes and puns will have you wheely rolling with laughter. So, buckle up, grab your transfer of humor, and let's get this joke bus rolling with the best bus puns and jokes that are sure to steer your day in the right direction!

Why did the bus go to school?

Because it wanted to be a little busier!

Why don't buses ever get tired?

Because they frequently brake!

Why was the bus so good at football?

Because it knew all the right routes!

What kind of bus sails across the ocean?

Christopher Colum-bus!

What did the bus driver say to the frog?

Do your school buses run on time.

No, they run on diesel!

My friend always went the extra mile at work, but he got fired...

He was a bus driver!

Is the bus going to stop by the river?

If it doesn’t, there’ll be a very big splash!

Why is being a bus driver stressful?

People are always talking behind your back !

A passenger asked, 'Is this bus going to take me to New York?'

The driver responded, “Which part?”

The passenger said, “All of me!”

I had a bad day today...

First, someone I hated got hit by a bus. After that, I lost my job as a bus driver.

How do you get a bunch of Pikachu onto a bus?

You poke-em-on!

Is it a good idea to hop on a bus?

No, you should just sit like everyone else.

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad!

Why did the bus go to therapy?

It had some major baggage!

Why did the bus driver take a vacation?

His job was driving him mad.

What happens when you run behind a bus?

You get exhausted!

What happens when you run in front of a bus?

You get tired!

What happened after one popular musician installed trampolines in their tour bus?

It started a trend, and soon everyone was jumping on the bandwagon!

A passenger said, 'One ticket to New York, please.' The driver replied, 'By way of Buffalo?'

The passenger said, "No, by bus!'

What did Harry Potter do when he missed the Hogwarts Express?

He caught a ride on the Magic School Bus!

At which end of the bus is it best to get off?

 It doesn’t matter. Both ends stop.

Funny lists to get you through the season.

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bus-jokes

243 Hilarious Bus Jokes to Laugh All the Way to Destination

  • 4 months ago

Think bus rides are boring?

Think again!

Our carefully curated compilation of bus jokes is here to prove that laughter and public transportation go hand in hand.

From quirky drivers to unexpected passengers, our collection of jokes about buses captures the essence of bus adventures. It’s like a mini comedy club on wheels!

So, get ready to bring some joy to your fellow passengers – let’s make these bus rides memorable for all the right reasons!

Table of Contents

Best Bus Jokes

Hey, laugh-lovers! Buckle up for the grand giggle tour! We’ve handpicked the cream of the crop in bus jokes. Ready for a ride full of belly laughs? All aboard!

Why did the bus driver go to therapy? He had too many issues with letting things go! Why was the math book sad on the bus? Because it had too many problems. What do you call a bus full of lawyers going off a cliff? A good start! What’s a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation? A blood vessel. Why did the bus driver lose his job? He didn’t look forward to it! What did the bus say to the truck? “You’re overtaking me!” Why do buses never tell secrets? They always have too many passengers! How does a bus greet another bus? “Long time, no see!” What do you call a bus that can’t stop smiling? A happy bus. How do you organize a space party on a bus? You planet! Why did the bus go to the bank? To get its fare share. What’s a bus’s favorite game? Hide and seek – it loves stopping unexpectedly! Why did the bus driver get in trouble with the chef? He couldn’t make a complete stop without rolling. What’s a bus’s favorite subject in school? Geography – it loves going places! Why was the bus blushing? Because it saw the streetcar’s tracks! What do you call a bus that can’t keep a secret? A loudmouth transporter. How do you know when a bus is lying? When it’s not standing still! What’s a bus’s favorite movie genre? Action – it loves stopping and going!

Funny Bus Jokes

Strap in for a ROFL coaster! We’ve got the funniest bus jokes in town. Grab your ticket to a side-splitting journey. Caution: your face might hurt from smiling so much!

Why did the bicycle fall over on the bus? Because it was two-tired! What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of cookie? Stop-sign shaped cookies! Why did the tomato turn red on the bus? Because it saw the salad dressing! What do you call a bus that can rap? Public Transpor-rhyme-tation! Why did the bus driver get a promotion? He was always on the right track! What do you call a bus with a disco ball? A funky transporter! Why don’t buses ever get lonely? They always have lots of passengers! How do you make a tissue dance on a bus? You put a little boogie in it! What’s a bus’s favorite type of movie? Anything with lots of stops and starts! How do you catch a squirrel on a bus? Act like a nut and let it come to you! What did the grape say to the bus driver? “Stop crushing me!” Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? Because he heard the fare was going up! What do you call a bus that can’t stay still? Unstable transportation! How do buses communicate? They use sign language! Why did the bus driver open a bakery? He wanted to make a lot of dough! What did the traffic light say to the bus? Don’t look, I’m changing! Why did the bus driver get a ticket? He couldn’t control his temper! What do you call a bus with a broken horn? A tootless transporter! How does a bus answer the phone? “Yellow!” What’s a bus’s favorite kind of sandwich? A traffic jam sandwich! Why did the bus driver sit on a newspaper? He wanted to keep track of the stops! What’s a bus’s favorite type of coffee? Espresso – it’s always in a hurry! Why did the bus driver join a band? He wanted to get on board with the music! What do you call a bus with a sense of humor? A pun-lic transportation! Why did the bus go to the doctor? It had a case of exhaust-ion! What’s a bus’s favorite thing to do at a party? Start a conga line! Why did the bus driver become a gardener? Because he wanted to work on his root schedule! How does a bus apologize? It offers a heartfelt “bus-sorry!”

Rude Bus Jokes

Hold onto your seats, rebels! We’re diving into the spicy side of humor with these rude bus jokes. It’s a wild, no-holds-barred ride. Brace for laughter with attitude!

What’s the difference between a bus full of clowns and a bus full of passengers? On the bus full of clowns, you know who the jokers are. What’s the best thing about rush hour? Knowing at least some of the people crammed next to you are miserable too. How can you tell a tourist on the bus? They’re the ones wearing backpacks the size of suitcases and blocking the aisle. What’s the most annoying sound on a bus? A loud phone conversation on speaker about someone’s personal drama. What’s worse than stepping in gum on the bus? Stepping in something sticky that definitely isn’t gum. Why did the bus driver get fired? Because he kept using the emergency exit to avoid rush hour traffic. What’s the hardest part about being a bus driver? Pretending to care when someone yells, “Doors please!” for the tenth time. What do bus drivers take for lunch? Brake pads. (Because they’re constantly hitting them!) How many bus drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None, they’ll just complain it’s the mechanic’s job. What do you call a grumpy bus driver? A road rage dispenser. What’s the difference between a bus stop and a therapist’s couch?  At least the therapist charges you to listen to your problems. My bus bumper sticker says, “Honk if you love public transportation!” It hasn’t been honked at yet. “Sorry, we’re not accepting exact change at this time.” Every bus driver ever. “If you see something, say nothing.” Bus safety slogan re-imagined.

School Bus Jokes

Time to rewind to the good old days! Join us for a nostalgic trip with school bus jokes. Brace for laughs that’ll transport you back to the playground.

Why did the bus bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to make an “entrance”! The bus was feeling musical, so it started singing. It had “tire”-rific vocal range! What’s a bus’s favorite dessert? “Highway” cones! Why did the bus get a promotion? It was great at “carrying” out its duties! The bus was learning to play the guitar. It said, “I’m working on my ‘trans-chords’!” Why did the bus go to the art gallery? It heard they had some “fine-tuned” masterpieces! The bus’s favorite book? “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round… Just Like My Day!” Why did the bus start a workout routine? It wanted to have a “fit” route! Why did the school bus feel stressed? It had too many “detour”ists onboard! Why did the school bus miss the first day of school? It overslept and couldn’t “catch the bus” on time. What do you call a school bus that’s been converted into a bakery? A “roll”ing classroom! When the school bus got stuck in traffic, it said. “I guess it’s time to put my patience in ‘park’ mode.” What did the school bus say to the students? “Don’t worry, I’ll ‘transport’ you to knowledge!” The school bus had an excellent memory. It never forgot a “route”ine detail. What’s a school bus’s favorite song? “Wheels on the Bus,” of course! The school bus had a pet dog. It was a “bu-ssetter” breed. Why was the school bus always confident? It had a lot of “drive” and determination. The school bus was a great artist. It knew how to “draw” in a crowd of students.

Bus Jokes One Liners

Need a laughter shot? We’ve got rapid-fire bus jokes in one-liner style . Quick, snappy, and hilarious – your daily dose of giggles and express delivery!

I used to be afraid of the bus, but then I got over my “fare” of it. Did you hear about the bus that drove off a cliff? The passengers had a really “uplifting” experience. Why did the math book look sad on the bus? It had too many problems. I told the bus driver I lost my wallet. He said, “No problem, just ‘change’ your attitude!” I tried to start a conversation with my bus, but it just kept “driving” me away. Why don’t buses ever get lost? They always follow a “route” plan. What’s a bus’s favorite computer key? The “enter” key, of course! Why did the bus driver get in trouble? He couldn’t find the right “lane” of work. Why did the bus bring a ladder to the soccer game? It wanted to cheer for its favorite team from the “top” row! What do you call a bus that sings? A “trans-choir-tation”! Why did the bus stop in the middle of the race? It wanted to pick up a “passenger”! I challenged the bus driver to a staring contest. I blinked first, but the bus didn’t even “flinch”! Why don’t buses ever get lost? They have a strong “direction” to their destination. Did you hear about the bus that went to space? It had a “far-out” journey! The bus driver told me a joke about wheels, but it was “tire”-d. I wanted to become a bus driver, but I didn’t have the “drive” for it. Why did the bicycle fall over when the bus passed by? It was “tired” of keeping up! I saw a bus that had a bumper sticker saying, “I break for puns!” Did you hear about the bus that went to therapy? It had too many “traffic” issues to deal with! I asked the bus driver for directions, and he said, “I’m just here for the ‘ride’ advice!” The bus was feeling down, so I told it a joke. It couldn’t help but “wheely” laugh! Why did the bus blush? It saw the “street” it had a crush on! The bus told a joke so bad, even the GPS groaned: “That was a ‘road’-ful attempt!” Why did the bus start a band? It wanted to hit all the “highways” of music! The bus was having a tough time, so I told it, “Just ‘bus’-t out a smile!” What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks? “Trans-pour-tation”! The bus was a great actor – it always knew how to “steer” up some drama! The school bus driver couldn’t find the math book. He needed help with “subtracting” the missing item. When the school bus got a flat tire, the students were in for a “tire”-rific delay. The school bus was feeling tired after a long day. It just wanted to “rest stop” for a while. The school bus and the bicycle had a race. The bus won, but the bicycle said, “I was just trying to pedal my way to victory!” The school bus told the students a joke, and they all laughed so hard that it caused a “bus-t” of giggles.

Clean Bus Jokes

Gather ’round, everyone! It’s a family-friendly fiesta with our clean bus jokes. No worries about crossing any lines – just pure, wholesome fun. Let the chuckles commence!

Why did the refrigerator catch the bus? A: It had a pre-launch malfunction. Which mode of transport do superheroes prefer? Lightyear’s bus. Why did the bus driver feel paranoid? He believed people were gossiping behind his back. What’s the fate of The Who’s vintage tour bus? It won’t get refueled. How did the man earn his bus driving job? He was an expert at directing passengers to the exits. Why did the driver lose his job after giving up his seat? He was supposed to stay seated while driving! What did the bus conductor say when asked if the bus stops near the Thames? If it doesn’t, expect a big splash! Why couldn’t the skeleton pay his bus fare? He was broke. Why did the bus driver insist you sit down during the journey? He didn’t want standing ovations. Which game is popular among monster bus riders? Squash. Why did the snooker player get a 147? The bus stopped right outside the hall. How do eels commute on the ocean floor? By octobus. Why was the school bus yellow and unable to swim? It was a school bus! Why did the bus come to a halt at the zebra crossing? It saw a zebra crossing. What sandwiches do bus drivers love? Traffic jam ones. What’s the difference between a school bus and a father’s van? School buses don’t usually carry screaming kids! What did the passenger say when asked about traveling to California on a bus? All of me will. How is a school bus different from a birthday cake? The latter is edible! Why was the Hogwarts Express canceled? Snow on the tracks, so they took the Magic School Bus instead. Why did the bus conductor get a shock without any effect? He was a poor conductor. Why was the song dedicated to a friend in the hospital? Because the wheels on the bus go round and round! What’s the dark side of being kind-hearted on a bus? Giving your seat to a blind person can get you fired if you’re the driver! What’s the main concern of a bus driver on Tinder? When his dates find out he’s a bus driver. Why are some people scared of dying alone? Hence, they become bus drivers! How did the elderly woman end up at the hospital? Someone gave her a direct route by pushing her in front of a bus. Why did the bus blush? It saw the truck’s undercarriage. Why was the bus always in trouble in school? It couldn’t stay in its lane! How does a bus like its tea? In the traffic jam. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music? Brake-beat! Why did the bus put on sunscreen? To avoid burning its fuel. How do buses greet each other? “Wanna take a brake?”

Bus Jokes for Adults

Time for the grown-ups to shine! Hop on the adult humor express – it’s a journey filled with jokes tailored for the more experienced chuckler. Keep your laughter license handy!

Why did the bus go to school early? It wanted to be ahead of traffic. Why was the bus always calm? It had a lot of stops. Why did the scarecrow become a bus driver? He was outstanding in his field and wanted a change. Why was the bus good at the game of chess? It always knew when to make the right move. What do buses and computers have in common? Both have drivers! Why was the bus so cold? It had too many windows. Why did the bus stop at the beach? It wanted to pick up some sand-wiches! How do you know a bus is cold? When you see it with its blower on! Why did the bus file a police report? It got its signals crossed! How does a bus keep its pants up? With a traffic belt! Why don’t buses have good stories to tell? Their journeys are always so stop-and-go! Why did the bus take a vacation? It was tired of being driven around! What did the bus conductor say to the egg? “Scramble inside.” Why did the bus apply for a job? It wanted to quit being a vehicle and start carrying its own weight! Why was the bus feeling stressed? Because its schedule was too tight! How does a bus flirt? “Is this seat taken?” Why did the bus stay calm during the test? Because it knew the routes by heart! What do you call a sleeping bus? A snooze cruise! How do you compliment a bus driver? “Wheel done!” Why did the bus go to the paint shop? It wanted a new route of color! Why was the bus good at soccer? Because it’s used to kicking things off!

Bus Jokes for Kids

Little jokesters, assemble! It’s a busload of kiddie-approved fun. Join us for a laughter-filled journey suitable for the smaller but equally mighty audience.

How do ghosts get to school? They ride the ghoul bus. Why shouldn’t you run in front of a bus? You’ll get tired. Why shouldn’t you run behind a bus? You’ll get exhausted. Why didn’t anyone take the school bus to school? It wouldn’t fit through the doors. What kind of bus can sail across an ocean? A Columbus. Why was the bus driver sad? Everyone was talking behind their back. What did the bus driver say to the frog? Hop on. How does a mollusk get to school? It rides the octo-bus. What do you call a self-driving bus? Autono-bus. Why did the bus use fuel made from herbs? To make sure it’s on thyme. What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus. What do dragons call a bus full of people? Meals on wheels. Why did the bat miss the bus? It hung around for too long. How do bees get to work? They take the buzz. Which job will fire you for going the extra mile? A bus driver. Why did the bus stop? To let the passengers off. Where do buses wait for students? On cam-bus. What’s a bus driver’s favorite instrument? A bus-soon. What are a bus driver’s two favorite sports? Bus-ball and bus-ketball. What kind of rice do bus drivers eat? Bus-mati rice. Where do bus companies save important information? In a data-bus. What do you call a person who promotes buses? An am-bus-sador. What do you call a bus concept that’ll never happen? Im-bus-sible. What’s the most important part of an electric bus? The conductor. What do you call a bus without unique features? Bus-ic. Where do bus drivers go on vacation? Bus-ton, Massachusetts. What do you get when you cross a bus with a Greek god? Bus-eidon. Where do bus drivers love to get ice cream? Bus-kin-Robbins. How do elves get to school? They ride the minibus. What’s a superhero’s favorite bus? Bus Lightyear. What do you call bus drivers that enjoy hanging out? Bus friends. What did the bus driver eat for breakfast? A bus-cuit. What do you say to a bus driver after they retire? Bus wishes. What’s a bus driver’s favorite shape? A rhom-bus. What do you get the first time you ride a bus? A sylla-bus. Why did the bus driver take time off? To find their pur-bus. Where do crabs wait for buses? At the bus-tacean. How do skeletons get to school? They take the skull bus.

Bus Jokes and Puns

Steer into pun paradise with our collection of bus jokes and puns. Get ready for a lighthearted journey where every turn brings a new twist of humor.

Why did the bus driver quit his job? He lost his drive. Did you hear about the bus that went out of control? It couldn’t steer itself in the right direction. What did the bus driver say to the unruly passengers? “You’re driving me round the bend!” How do bus drivers communicate? Through bus-ted signals. What did the bus driver say to the pencil? “Get on board, we need to draw the line.” Why do buses make great comedians? They always come with a lot of punchlines. What do you call a bus that tells jokes? A funny-bus. How do you recognize an extroverted bus? It’s always open for conversation. Why was the double-decker bus sad? It had too many ups and downs in life. How do trees get on the bus? They root for a free ride. Why are buses so good at basketball? They know how to slam dunk-leton. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music? “Highway to the Danger Zone” by Kenny Travolta. Why don’t buses get invited to parties? They always arrive early and spoil the surprise. How do you make a bus float? Add two scoops of ice cream and a root beer truck. What did the bus driver say to the lost passenger? “You’ve got to take a ride turn!” Why do buses never want to join the gym? They are already well-rounded. What’s a bus’s favorite game to play? Passenger Manifest-ination. Why did the bus driver refuse to slow down? He couldn’t resist the appeal of Fast & Furious. How do you fix a broken bus? With a cl-ENGINE-er. What kind of car does a bus like to date? Another bus, because they have a great “bus-schedule”. Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t stop hitting the brakes! The bus driver asked the passenger if they wanted a ticket, and they replied, “No thanks, I’m already on board!” What do you call a bus that can play music? A concert-haul! Why did the school bus become an actor? It wanted to be a double-decker star! The bus driver never gives up on his dreams because he’s always driven! Why don’t buses ever say “excuse me”? They prefer “ex-bus me!” The bus driver took a picture of himself as a joke and captioned it: “Just taking a bus selfie! What did the bus say to the incoming passengers? “Long time no seat!” Traveling by bus is exhausting because it’s just a lot of stop-and-go-metry! Why don’t buses ever get lonely? They’re always surrounded by passengers! What do you call a bus that likes to argue? A disputa-bus! The bus driver is always up for challenges because he’s wheel-y competitive! Why did the bus take a detour? It wanted to go on an adventuresome route! The bus felt guilty after forgetting to stop for a passenger, so it offered a sincere bus-pology! What’s a bus’s favorite movie genre? Suspense-thrillers! Why do buses always seem so calm and collected? Because they have lots of bus-tediers! The bus decided to enroll in cooking classes, but it didn’t know how to use bus-matic tools! What do you call a bus with a great sense of humor? A funny bus-iness! The bus driver always tells jokes while driving because he wants to keep the atmosphere light! Why did the bus driver get in a fight with a neighbor? They were both claiming the last parking spot!

Final Thoughts

And with that final punchline, our collection of bus jokes comes to a temporary halt.

But worry not – the laughter is perpetual! Take these jokes about buses, not just as words on a page but as your arsenal of happiness on every bus adventure.

The next time you find yourself at a bus stop or on board, strike up a conversation with a joke.

Which bus joke had you laughing the hardest? Share your favorite, or drop an emoji to express your reaction!

Enjoy the bus ride!

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Box of Puns

35+ Hilarious Bus Jokes to Make Your Wheels Roll With Laughter

By David Em

Updated: March 13, 2024

Buses are forms of transportation that carry a larger group of people. Read hilarious bus jokes for a laugh the next time you see or ride one.

School bus.

Buses are an excellent form of transportation. They’re efficient, affordable, and help cut down traffic.

The first bus in America dates back to 1827. It began along Broadway in New York.

Today, there are different types of buses. Some are for the public, while others are for schools and private companies.

If you’re ready to laugh, read the following bus jokes. Then, tell the jokes to others to spread laughter.

The funniest bus jokes

1 . How do ghosts get to school?

They ride the ghoul bus.

2 . Why shouldn’t you run in front of a bus?

You’ll get tired.

3 . Why shouldn’t you run behind a bus?

You’ll get exhausted.

4 . Why didn’t anyone take the school bus to school?

It wouldn’t fit through the doors .

5 . What kind of bus can sail across an ocean?

A Columbus.

6 . Why was the bus driver sad?

Everyone was talking behind their back.

Bus.

7 . What did the bus driver say to the frog ?

8 . How does a mollusk get to school?

It rides the octo-bus.

9 . What do you call a self-driving bus?

Autono-bus.

10 . Why did the bus use fuel made from herbs ?

To make sure it’s on thyme.

11 . What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus.

12 . What do dragons call a bus full of people?

Meals on wheels.

13 . Why did the bat miss the bus?

It hung around for too long.

14 . How do bees get to work?

They take the buzz.

15 . Which job will fire you for going the extra mile?

A bus driver.

16 . Why did the bus stop?

To let the passengers off.

17 . Where do buses wait for students?

On cam-bus.

18 . What’s a bus driver’s favorite instrument?

A bus-soon.

Bus.

19 . What are a bus driver’s two favorite sport s?

Bus-ball and bus-ketball.

20 . What kind of rice do bus drivers eat?

Bus-mati rice.

21 . Where do bus companies save important information?

In a data-bus.

22 . What do you call a person who promotes buses?

An am-bus-sador.

23 . What do you call a bus concept that’ll never happen?

Im-bus-sible.

24 . What’s the most important part of an electric bus?

The conductor.

25 . What do you call a bus without unique features?

26 . Where do bus drivers go on vacation?

Bus-ton, Massachusetts.

27 . What do you get when you cross a bus with a Greek god?

28 . Where do bus drivers love to get ice cream ?

Bus-kin-Robbins.

Front of a school bus.

29 . How do elves get to school?

They ride the minibus.

30 . What’s a superhero’s favorite bus?

Bus Lightyear.

31 . What do you call bus drivers that enjoy hanging out?

Bus friends.

32 . What did the bus driver eat for breakfast ?

A bus-cuit.

33 . What do you say to a bus driver after they retire?

Bus wishes.

School bus.

34 . What’s a bus driver’s favorite shape?

A rhom-bus.

35 . What do you get the first time you ride a bus?

A sylla-bus.

36 . Why did the bus driver take time off?

To find their pur-bus.

37 . Where do crabs wait for buses?

At the bus-tacean.

38 . How do skeletons get to school?

They take the skull bus.

Related : Hilarious Bell Puns

Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns .

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Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. Learn more about Box of Puns

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Bus Jokes & Funny Puns: 45 Hilarious Rides to Laughter

“Riding the bus” – the very phrase brings a cascade of memories. The early morning haste, the window views, the strange yet amusing banter!

But let’s rewind a bit and embrace the lighter side of the journey, where the road takes a turn for ‘funny’.

We’ve packed 45 hilarious bus jokes into our comedy carry-on, just for you. So buckle up, folks – it’s about to get comically bumpy!

kids happy in their school bus

Table of Contents

Best Bus Jokes: Humor on Wheels

Who knew public transportation could tickle your funny bone so expertly? Buckle up and enjoy the ride with these 15 best bus jokes!

  • Why don’t buses ever play hide and seek? Because they always follow the route!
  • What do you call a bus in a fairy tale? A Cinder-ella!
  • How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket! But how do you get a baby bus to sleep? You “route” it!
  • Why did the bus blush? Because it saw the zebra crossing!
  • Why did the bus break up with the tram? It got tired of being on the same track!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite kind of music? “Stop” rock and roll!
  • Why did the bus go to school? Because it wanted to be a “smarty” bus!
  • How does a bus propose to its girlfriend? “Will you ‘stop’ for me forever?”
  • Why do buses make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always ‘too stop’!
  • How does a bus like to unwind? It takes the bypass!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of nut? A ‘wheel’ nut!
  • Why do buses never get lost? Because they always know their ‘stop’!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Believin'”!
  • Why did the bus go to the bank? To get some “bus-tle” money!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite part of a meal? The “brake-fast”!

school bus is going to school

Laugh on Board: Top Bus Puns

Ready to shift your laughter gears up a notch? Steer into these 15 bus puns that are guaranteed to drive you wild with laughter!

  • Why are buses such a good place to talk? Because they’re always ready for a good ‘pick-up’ line!
  • When the bus got to the end of its route, it just felt so ‘terminal’.
  • I’m reading a great book about an immortal bus, it’s impossible to ‘put down’.
  • My bus driver friend always gives good advice, he knows how to ‘steer’ me right!
  • My friend said she didn’t like the bus, I said it’s because she has never been ‘fare’ to it.
  • The bus’s love life was going ‘wheels’, till it found its ‘stop’ mate!
  • I got kicked out of the bus for making everyone laugh, they said it’s not a ‘stand-up’ bus!
  • The bus likes to maintain its ‘route-ine’ exercise to stay fit.
  • I knew a bus that was a chef, it was a ‘whisk’ taker!
  • My bus driver friend’s new song is such a ‘hit’, it’s ‘picking up’ on all the charts!
  • The bus never gets out of line, it always knows where to ‘draw the lane’!
  • The bus driver always adds ‘extra stop’ to his coffee!
  • When the bus became a parent, it started ‘schooling’ its kids!
  • My friend couldn’t stop laughing at the bus puns, he said they ‘crack him up’.
  • When the bus had a fight with the tram, it said it would ‘end of the line’!

a red passenger bus

Quick Laughs: Bus Jokes One Liners

Jump aboard and fasten your seatbelts because we’re about to take a quick detour into the world of one-liner jokes! These 15 bus-themed zingers are sure to drive you to laughter town!

  • If love were a bus, I’d probably miss it!
  • That bus driver really needs to quit playing ‘stops’!
  • Life’s a journey, not a ‘bus station’!
  • The bus can’t ‘stand’ rush hour!
  • Whoever invented the bus stop, ‘stands’ above all!
  • A bus’s life is just ‘picking up’ people!
  • Bus trips: When ‘wheels’ take you places!
  • Bus: The ‘longest’ form of flattery!
  • Buses: Putting the ‘pass’ in passengers since forever!
  • If life’s a bus ride, let me off at the next stop!
  • You miss 100% of buses you don’t catch!
  • Buses: When life ‘stops’ you in your tracks!
  • Some say life is like a bus ride, just don’t ‘fall for the driver’!
  • I don’t do car pool, I do ‘bus pool’!
  • They call me ‘The Bus’, because I’m always on the ‘route’!

Behind the Wheel: Bus Driver Jokes

It’s been quite a ‘ride’, hasn’t it? From puns to one-liners, we’ve ‘picked up’ some great laughs and hopefully lightened your day. Next time you board a bus, remember to ‘carry’ these jokes along to share with fellow travelers. Let the fun ‘bus’ open!

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75 Jokes About Buses That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor Laughing

Hop on the chuckle train, folks! We’ve got a rip-roaring compilation of 75 jokes about buses that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. From wacky encounters with fellow riders to unforeseen pit stops, these jokes capture the quirky side of riding public transportation like nobody’s business.

So grab a seat (preferably one without gum stuck to it), buckle up (metaphorically speaking) and enjoy this sidesplitting journey from start to finish! Get ready for some serious LOL moments and belly laughs galore – we promise you won’t regret it!

List of Jokes About Buses

jokes about buses

1. Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? Because he wanted to reach new heights! 2. What did the bus conductor say to the passenger who had too many bags? “You really need to get a grip on your luggage!” 3. Why did the bus take a break? Because it needed to “re-tire”! 4. How do buses greet each other? They “bus-t” out a friendly honk! 5. Why did the bus driver carry a map? Because he didn’t want to “lose track” of where he was going! 6. What did the bus say to the passenger who kept complaining about the bumpy ride? “I’m sorry, I can’t smooth things out for you, I’m just a bus!” 7. How do you make a bus stop? You “hail” it with your hand! 8. Why did the bus get in trouble at school? It was caught “passing gas” in the hallway! 9. What do you call a bus that can perform magic tricks? A “transport-er”! 10. Why did the bus blush? Because it saw the “streetcar” of its dreams! 11. What did one bus say to the other bus at the gym? “I heard you’re trying to get into “transit” shape!” 12. Why did the bus driver bring a broom to work? Because he wanted to “sweep” the passengers off their feet! 13. What did the bus driver say when the passenger asked if they were headed in the right direction? “I don’t know, I’m just following the “transit” signs!” 14. Why did the bus break down in the middle of the road? It was feeling “exhausted”! 15. How do buses communicate with each other? They use “transmissions”! 16. Why did the bus driver go to therapy? Because he had a “steering” problem! 17. What do you call a bus that tells jokes? A “com-mute-r”! 18. Why did the bus driver bring a sandwich to work? Because he wanted a “trans-portable” lunch! 19. What do you call a bus that can play musical instruments? A “transit-harmonic”! 20. Why was the bus cold? Because all the windows were “down”!

jokes about buses

21. What did one bus say to the other bus when they met on the road? “Long time, no “see”-tric!” 22. Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he didn’t “bus-stop” at the red light! 23. How do buses make decisions? They take a “votemobile”! 24. Why did the bus driver always carry an umbrella? Because he wanted to “shelter” his passengers! 25. What do you call a bus that can do karate? A “transit-chop-ter”! 26. Why did the bus feel lonely? Because it was missing its “transit” friends! 27. How do buses stay in shape? They “bus-cle” their way through traffic! 28. What did the bus driver say to the passenger who forgot their fare? “You can’t “bus-slide” on this ride!” 29. Why did the bus go to the doctor? Because it was feeling “run-down”! 30. What do you call a bus that can’t stop singing? A “transit-tone”! 31. Why did the bus driver bring a pillow to work? Because he wanted to take a “cushion” break! 32. What did one bus say to the other bus that was driving too slow? “Hey, pick up the “pace”! We’re on a schedule!” 33. Why did the bus blush when it saw the fire engine? Because it thought the fire engine was “hot”! 34. How do buses make phone calls? They use “transistors”! 35. Why did the bus driver always carry a pen and paper? Because he liked to “jot” down notes about his route! 36. What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks with cards? A “transit-ation”! 37. Why did the bus driver bring a camera to work? Because he wanted to “capture” memories of the journey! 38. How do buses exercise their wheels? They do “spins” in the parking lot! 39. Why did the bus get a promotion at work? Because it was a “driven” employee! 40. What did the bus say to the passenger who asked if they accepted credit cards? “No, we only take “transit” cards!”

jokes about buses

41. Why did the bus driver always carry a toolbox? Because he liked to “fix” things on the go! 42. What do you call a bus that loves to play chess? A “transit-strategist”! 43. Why did the bus driver bring a dictionary to work? Because he wanted to “define” his route! 44. How do buses go on vacation? They take a “transit-tour” around the country! 45. Why did the bus driver bring a fishing rod to work? Because he wanted to “catch” some good stories from passengers! 46. What do you call a bus that can solve complex math problems? A “transit-calculator”! 47. Why did the bus driver bring a shovel to work? Because he was “digging” the job! 48. How do buses keep their passengers entertained? They have “on-board” entertainment systems! 49. Why did the bus go to the dentist? Because it had a “cavity” in its engine! 50. What do you call a bus that can do gymnastics? A “transit-tumbler”! 51. Why did the bus driver always bring a whistle to work? Because he wanted to “blow the horn” on time! 52. How do buses stay cool in the summer? They use “transit-air” conditioning! 53. Why did the bus driver bring a picnic basket to work? Because he wanted to have a “wheely” good lunch! 54. What do you call a bus that loves to dance? A “transit-groover”! 55. Why did the bus feel jealous of the train? Because the train got to “choo-choo”! 56. How do buses send emails? They use “transit” servers! 57. Why did the bus driver bring a plant to work? Because he wanted to add some “green” to the bus! 58. What do you call a bus that can do stand-up comedy? A “transit-joker”! 59. Why did the bus driver always bring a puzzle book to work? Because he enjoyed “crossing” routes! 60. How do buses celebrate birthdays? They throw a “transit-party” on wheels!

jokes about buses

61. Why did the bus feel nervous before a big trip? Because it had “butterflies” in its wheels! 62. What do you call a bus that loves to write poetry? A “transit-verse”! 63. Why did the bus driver bring binoculars to work? Because he wanted to “see” the traffic ahead! 64. How do buses solve mysteries? They go on “transit-undercover” missions! 65. Why did the bus feel happy when it arrived at the destination? Because it had a “wheel-y” good time! 66. What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks with coins? A “transit-magician”! 67. Why did the bus driver bring a guitar to work? Because he wanted to “strum” up some cheerful tunes! 68. How do buses send text messages? They use “transit-mitters”! 69. Why did the bus driver bring a sketchbook to work? Because he wanted to “draw” inspiration from the city! 70. What do you call a bus that loves to paint? A “transit-artist”! 71. Why did the bus driver always bring an umbrella to work? Because he wanted to “cover” all the stops! 72. How do buses navigate through heavy traffic? They use their “transit” instincts! 73. Why did the bus feel sad after dropping off all the passengers? Because it was “empty” inside! 74. What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks with scarves? A “transit-illusionist”! 75. Why did the bus driver bring a map of the stars to work? Because he wanted to “navigate” through the universe!

  • Jokes About Climate Change
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The Magic School Bus Inside a Hurricane

I know how stressful life can be, and sometimes we just need to take a break and enjoy a moment of humor. That’s why I’ve dedicated myself to finding the best jokes, memes, and videos on the internet and bringing them to you all in one place.

75 Hilarious Jokes About Seagulls That Will Make You Cry… with Laughter!

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82 Short Bus Puns

“Steer” your sense of humor in the right direction as we embark on a journey filled with laughter and wordplay – it’s time to explore the world of bus puns! From witty quips to clever plays on words, bus puns are a delightful way to lighten the mood and bring a smile to anyone’s face.

Bus Puns

Whether you’re a fan of public transportation or just looking for a “fare”-nomenal time, these puns are sure to drive your amusement to the next stop. So, grab your ticket to a chuckle-filled ride, and let’s “bus-t” out some laughs!

School Bus Puns

  • Why did the school bus feel stressed? It had too many “detour”ists onboard!
  • The school bus driver couldn’t find the math book. He needed help with “subtracting” the missing item.
  • When the school bus got a flat tire, the students were in for a “tire”-rific delay.
  • The school bus was feeling tired after a long day. It just wanted to “rest stop” for a while.
  • The school bus and the bicycle had a race. The bus won, but the bicycle said, “I was just trying to pedal my way to victory!”
  • Why did the school bus miss the first day of school? It overslept and couldn’t “catch the bus” on time.
  • The school bus told the students a joke, and they all laughed so hard that it caused a “bus-t” of giggles.
  • What do you call a school bus that’s been converted into a bakery? A “roll”ing classroom!
  • The school bus was feeling generous, so it gave everyone a “drive”-thru tour of the city.
  • When the school bus got stuck in traffic, it said, “I guess it’s time to put my patience in ‘park’ mode.”
  • What did the school bus say to the students? “Don’t worry, I’ll ‘transport’ you to knowledge!”
  • The school bus had an excellent memory. It never forgot a “route”ine detail.
  • The school bus was trying to meditate, but the noise from the kids made it impossible to “bus-come” calm.
  • What’s a school bus’s favorite song? “Wheels on the Bus,” of course!
  • The school bus had a pet dog. It was a “bu-ssetter” breed.
  • Why was the school bus always confident? It had a lot of “drive” and determination.
  • The school bus was a great artist. It knew how to “draw” in a crowd of students.

Party Bus Puns

  • Why did the party bus bring a ladder? It wanted to take the celebration to the “next level”!
  • The party bus loved outdoor events. It was all about “park”-tying in style!
  • What do you call a party bus that’s always late? A “fashionably late” mobile party!
  • The party bus was a fantastic storyteller. It always knew how to “drive” home a good tale!
  • Why did the party bus join the talent show? It wanted to show off its “wheel”-y cool moves!
  • The party bus’s favorite snack? “Route” beer and chips, of course!
  • What’s a party bus’s favorite saying? “Life’s a journey, so let’s party on the way!”
  • The party bus was a great friend. It always had a way of “steering” everyone toward fun!
  • Why did the party bus go to the gym? It wanted to stay in “top shape” for all the celebrations!
  • The party bus was known for its epic karaoke sessions. It had the “drive” to hit all the high notes!

Funny Bus Puns

  • Did you hear about the bus that went to therapy? It had too many “traffic” issues to deal with!
  • I asked the bus driver for directions, and he said, “I’m just here for the ‘ride’ advice!”
  • The bus was feeling down, so I told it a joke. It couldn’t help but “wheely” laugh!
  • Why did the bus blush? It saw the “street” it had a crush on!
  • The bus told a joke so bad, even the GPS groaned: “That was a ‘road’-ful attempt!”
  • Why did the bus start a band? It wanted to hit all the “highways” of music!
  • The bus was having a tough time, so I told it, “Just ‘bus’-t out a smile!”
  • What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks? “Trans-pour-tation”!
  • The bus was a great actor – it always knew how to “steer” up some drama!
  • Why did the bus bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to make an “entrance”!
  • The bus was feeling musical, so it started singing. It had “tire”-rific vocal range!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite dessert? “Highway” cones!
  • The bus was feeling philosophical: “Is the ‘busyness’ of life worth it?”
  • Why did the bus get a promotion? It was great at “carrying” out its duties!
  • The bus was learning to play the guitar. It said, “I’m working on my ‘trans-chords’!”
  • Why did the bus go to the art gallery? It heard they had some “fine-tuned” masterpieces!
  • The bus’s favorite book? “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round… Just Like My Day!”
  • Why did the bus start a workout routine? It wanted to have a “fit” route!

VW Bus Puns

  • Why did the VW bus bring a map to the party? It didn’t want to “van”-der off!
  • The VW bus had a flat tire, but it stayed “hippie” by putting on a peace sign sticker.
  • What do you call a group of VW buses hanging out together? A “volks”-fest!
  • The VW bus was feeling nostalgic – it said, “Those were the ‘bus’-t of times!”
  • Why did the VW bus go to school? It wanted to get a “vroom” education!
  • The VW bus started a gardening business – it had a talent for “trans-planting” flowers!
  • What’s a VW bus’s favorite way to exercise? “VW Squats” – it’s all about that low stance!
  • The VW bus was great at math. It could “count” on its wheels!
  • Why was the VW bus a great storyteller? It always knew how to “drive” the narrative!
  • The VW bus had an adventurous spirit – it was always up for a “road” trip!
  • The VW bus was really into meditation. It liked to find its “inner peace” engine!
  • What’s a VW bus’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a lot of “drive”-ama!
  • The VW bus was a talented artist. It loved “vanscaping” its own unique designs!
  • Why did the VW bus become a chef? It had a special recipe for “van”-illa-flavored treats!
  • The VW bus was always well-prepared. It carried a “spare” amount of positivity!
  • What’s a VW bus’s favorite song? “Life in the Fast Lane” – it’s all about that VW culture!
  • The VW bus had a strong sense of fashion. It knew how to rock those “groovy” outfits!
  • Why did the VW bus start a charity? It believed in spreading “volks”-wagen love!
  • The VW bus was a master of wordplay. It could always “shift” the conversation towards puns!

Short Bus Jokes

  • I used to be afraid of the bus, but then I got over my “fare” of it.
  • Did you hear about the bus that drove off a cliff? The passengers had a really “uplifting” experience.
  • Why did the math book look sad on the bus? It had too many problems.
  • I told the bus driver I lost my wallet. He said, “No problem, just ‘change’ your attitude!”
  • I tried to start a conversation with my bus, but it just kept “driving” me away.
  • Why don’t buses ever get lost? They always follow a “route” plan.
  • What’s a bus’s favorite computer key? The “enter” key, of course!
  • Why did the bus driver get in trouble? He couldn’t find the right “lane” of work.
  • Why did the bus bring a ladder to the soccer game? It wanted to cheer for its favorite team from the “top” row!
  • What do you call a bus that sings? A “trans-choir-tation”!
  • Why did the bus stop in the middle of the race? It wanted to pick up a “passenger”!
  • I challenged the bus driver to a staring contest. I blinked first, but the bus didn’t even “flinch”!
  • Why don’t buses ever get lost? They have a strong “direction” to their destination.
  • Did you hear about the bus that went to space? It had a “far-out” journey!
  • The bus driver told me a joke about wheels, but it was “tire”-d.
  • I wanted to become a bus driver, but I didn’t have the “drive” for it.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over when the bus passed by? It was “tired” of keeping up!
  • I saw a bus that had a bumper sticker saying, “I break for puns!”

Final Thought

As we pull into the final stop on our pun-tastic journey through the world of bus humor, remember that laughter is the fuel that keeps our spirits running smoothly. Read more funny vehicle jokes at jokesgarage.com portal.

So, as you step off this pun-filled bus and back into the world, take a moment to appreciate the joy that a well-crafted pun can bring.

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bus tour jokes

Bus Tour Jokes

My friend invited me to go on a bus tour with him and told me there was a small fee., a busload of retired americans was touring switzerland..

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"Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"

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bus tour jokes

Naturally Funny

523 Bus Jokes for a Hilarious Road Trip

bus tour jokes

If you’ve found your way here, it means you’re ready to board the laughter express with the world of bus jokes.

Not just any old chuckles, but the first-class, top-tier jests.

That’s why we’ve compiled a schedule of the most hilarious bus jokes.

From puns that will have you ‘wheely’ laughing to one-liners that are just the ‘ticket’, our collection has a joke for every travel buddy.

So, let’s drive into the bustling hub of bus humor, one joke at a time.

Bus jokes are a genre of humor that anyone who has ever ridden a bus can relate to.

They’re not just about the vehicle itself, but the diverse and often hilarious situations that arise from sharing a confined space with an array of strangers.

From the early morning rush to the late-night drunks, busses offer an endless source of comedic material.

These jokes work because they’re rooted in shared experiences, turning everyday commutes into moments of collective amusement.

Crafting the perfect bus joke involves a playful use of language, a keen sense of observation, and a knack for finding humor in the mundane.

Whether it’s the driver’s seemingly reckless speed, the passenger who insists on talking loudly on their phone, or the occasional awkward eye contact, these everyday occurrences offer a rich canvas for comedy.

Ready to jump on board?

Buckle up for laughter with these bus jokes:

  • Why did the bus driver sit on a clock? Because he wanted to be on the next tock-tour bus!
  • Why did the bus driver become a comedian? Because he had a lot of good “material” on the road!
  • Why did the bus stop at the bakery? It kneaded a little break!
  • What do you call a dog on a bus? A puppy rider!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? Because it didn’t have the brains to drive a car!
  • Why was the math teacher always happy on the bus? Because she knew how to multiply happiness!
  • Why did the bus break up with its partner? Because it couldn’t stop relationship problems from driving them apart!
  • Why did the bus driver break up with their partner? They lost that “driving” spark!
  • What did the bus say to the car at the party? “Hey, big wheels, let’s roll!”
  • Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because they were caught stealing everyone’s hearts!
  • Why did the bus driver get in trouble with his boss? He kept taking the wrong route – he couldn’t find the right bus-tination!
  • What did the passenger say to the bus driver who kept making wrong turns? “Take me to the library, I want to check out ‘How to Navigate 101’!”
  • Why did the bus break down at the bakery? Because it ran out of dough!
  • Why don’t skeletons ever ride the bus? They just don’t have the guts!
  • Why did the bus go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling well and needed a “check-up”!
  • Why did the bus break up with its partner? It just needed some space to stop and think!
  • Why did the bus bring a pillow to work? So it could take a quick “bus-nap” during breaks!
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a broom to work? Because he wanted to sweep the passengers off their feet!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because he needed a lift!
  • Why did the school bus feel so happy? Because it had a lot of little passengers to “transport” its mood!
  • What do you call a bus full of dancers? A happy fleet!
  • Why did the bus driver get a bad report card? Because they missed too many stops!
  • Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he took his passengers for a ride!
  • Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
  • Why don’t school buses ever get into trouble? Because they always stay in their lane!
  • Why was the math teacher always happy on the bus? Because she could count on it!
  • Why don’t buses ever make good comedians? Because they always miss their “bus”!
  • Why was the bus driver so good at math? Because he knew how to multiply routes!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? Because his career in farming was just bus-ted!
  • Why did the bus go to the doctor? Because it had been feeling a little run down!
  • What do you call a bus driver with a PhD? A clever commuter!
  • Why did the bus driver get a fine? Because he couldn’t keep his passengers in their seats…they all fell off!
  • Why did the tomato turn red when it got on the bus? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he was really good at “steering” conversations!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • Why was the math book always scared of the school bus? Because it was full of “problems”!
  • What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
  • Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he was always going the extra mile!
  • Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  • What’s the best way to communicate with a bus driver? “Just “bus” a move and give them a friendly wave!”
  • Why did the bus driver start a gardening business? Because he wanted to grow his own route!
  • Why did the bus driver get a bad report card? Because he didn’t make all his stops!
  • Why was the bus so slow? Because it had no drive!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus? “I’m not sure if I have the drive for this!”
  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  • Why did the bus driver become a stand-up comedian? Because he always had a captive audience!
  • Why do buses never get invited to parties? Because they always make a “stop” at the wrong time!
  • Why did the bus go to the gym? It wanted to get a little engine-uity!
  • Why did the bus driver wear a hat? Because he wanted to stay ahead of the competition!
  • What do you call a deer on a bus? A passenger!
  • Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
  • Why don’t scientists trust stairs? Because they are always up to something!
  • Why don’t buses ever go to the gym? They already have a lot of “engine”uity!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard it was outstanding in its field!
  • Why do buses make great comedians? Because they have lots of good “punchlines”!
  • Why was the bus so crowded? Because every seat was taken!
  • Why did the bus driver become a chef? Because he wanted to get a little more “drive-thru” experience!
  • Why did the bus driver go to therapy? Because he had too many breakdowns!
  • Why don’t busses like to stop at the bakery? They can’t make enough dough!
  • What did the bus say to the car at the party? “Move over, you’re driving me crazy!”
  • Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he couldn’t keep his hands off the steering wheel!
  • Why do busses never gossip? Because they don’t want to throw anyone under the wheels!
  • Why did the chicken get on the bus? To visit its “hen” relatives!
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t keep things moving in the right direction!
  • Why did the banana go to the bus station? It wanted to become a “slip” road!
  • Why did the bus driver become a chef? Because he loved to take “bus-stovers”!
  • Why was the bus so good at making friends? It was always up for a good ride!
  • Why did the bus go to the bank? To get its tires rotated!
  • Why did the bus take a nap? Because it was tired of carrying all those passengers!
  • Why did the banana go to the bus stop? Because it heard it was appealing!
  • What kind of bus can you never trust? A double-decker! It’s always up to something!
  • What do you call a bus that’s been turned into a restaurant? A dine-and-ride!
  • What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on board, we’re going to have a toad-ally great time!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus? “I’m not sure about you, but I feel like I’m being driven crazy!”
  • Why did the bus driver go to jail? Because he was caught framing the passengers!
  • What did the traffic light say to the bus driver? Don’t look! I’m about to change!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? He didn’t have the drive anymore!
  • Why did the bus driver go to the dentist? Because he had a lot of traffic in his mouth!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus at their wedding? “Let’s make lots of little vans!”

Short Bus Jokes

Short bus jokes are the comedic equivalent of a quick, unexpected detour on a routine journey – sudden, surprising, and refreshingly amusing.

They are perfect for sharing on social media, adding a dash of humor in your text messages, or bringing a burst of laughter in a conversation.

The beauty of short bus jokes lies in their clever play on words and their ability to deliver a hearty chuckle in just a sentence or two.

So, hop on the comedy bus!

Here are some short bus jokes that guarantee a fun ride and a hearty laugh.

  • Why don’t buses make good comedians? Their jokes always go off-road!
  • What do you call a bus that can’t swim? A sinking transport!
  • What do you call a rabbit riding a bus? A hare-transport!
  • Why do buses make good comedians? They always have the best punchlines!
  • What do you call a bus full of singers? A pitch-perfect ride!
  • Why did the bus driver go broke? He lost too many fares!
  • What do you call a bus full of politicians? A bus-ted promise!
  • What do you call a bus that’s always tired? A “busy” bus!
  • Why did the scarecrow ride the bus? He needed some new brains!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite song? “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen!
  • What do you call a bus with a broken wheel? Un-balanced transportation!
  • Why was the math test on the bus? It was a multiply-choice!
  • Why don’t skeletons ride the bus? They’ve got no-body to go with!
  • Why did the bus become a baseball fan? It loved “pitching” rides!
  • Why do busses never trust anyone? They’re afraid of being “double-crossed”!
  • Why are buses like math class? They both make you feel sleepy!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it had no brain!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite type of music? Hip hop on the highway!
  • Why did the bus driver get lost? Because he lost his “drive”!
  • Why did the bus take a nap? It needed a little “bus-t”!
  • What do you call a bus that can fly? A transportation sensation!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus? He wanted to scare people!

Bus Jokes One-Liners

Bus jokes one-liners can be compared to the satisfaction of snagging the last empty seat on a crowded bus – surprising, gratifying, and a little bit funny.

They are the linguistic embodiment of a bus journey – unexpected, sometimes bumpy, but always memorable.

To craft a good bus joke one-liner, you need a mix of sharp wit, timely delivery, and a deep understanding of the humor hidden in everyday life.

The task is to compact the set-up and punchline into a single sentence, creating a quick comedic jolt that’s as effective as a sudden bus stop.

Here’s hoping these bus jokes one-liners will have you laughing all the way to your destination:

  • Why did the bus driver get a good report card? Because he was always outstanding in his field trips!
  • I told the bus driver he was going the wrong way. He told me to stop being so “directional”!
  • Why did the bus driver take a nap while driving? He wanted to catch up on his “rest” stops!
  • Why did the math book take the bus? Because it wanted to multiply and divide on the go.
  • Why did the bus driver get a sunburn? Because he refused to take any shade!
  • I told the bus driver I had lost my ticket, and he replied, “Don’t worry, it’s on the house.”>
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever tried to pick up hitchhikers, but he just laughed and drove away.
  • Why did the bus driver go to therapy? He needed to work on his road rage.
  • What did the bus driver say to the unruly passengers? “Take a “brake” or I’ll “steer” you in the wrong direction!”
  • Why did the banana go to the bus stop? Because it wanted to be a “bananabus” driver!
  • I saw a bus driver wearing two different shoes. When I asked why, he said, “I like to put my best foot forward!”
  • Why did the bus driver get a good grade? Because he took a lot of stops!
  • I asked the bus driver if he could take me somewhere exciting. He dropped me off at the gas station.
  • Why did the bus driver go to therapy? Because he was tired of steering his emotions!
  • I tried to flirt with the bus driver, but he said he wasn’t interested because he already had plenty of baggage.
  • I got on the wrong bus today, but luckily the passengers were headed to a comedy show. It was a stand-up bus.
  • Why did the bus driver become a chef? He always had a “bus-tling” schedule!
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever took a detour, and he replied, “I always steer clear of them!”
  • Why did the bus go to the dentist? To get a root canal!
  • I accidentally got on the wrong bus and ended up going round in circles. It was a real “revolving” experience!
  • I saw a sign on the bus that said, “Driver carries no cash, but he sure knows how to change gears.”>
  • I asked the bus driver if he was late, and he replied, “No, I’m just fashionably delayed.”>
  • Why did the bus driver refuse to go to the movie theater? He’d heard it was a “bus-t”!
  • I told the bus driver I was on a tight schedule, so he replied, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to squeeze in some extra traffic.” Thanks, I guess?
  • The problem with taking the bus is that you never know if it will drive you crazy or just drive right past you.
  • I was going to tell a joke about a bus, but then I realized it would just go over everyone’s heads!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because his car had engine trouble!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it wanted to improve its b-rain!
  • What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks? A “transpor-ta-da-da-da-da-tion”!
  • Why did the scarecrow ride the bus? Because it heard that they were outstanding in their field!
  • What do you call a bus with a broken horn? A tootless commuter!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? Because he heard the pay was terrible and he wanted to climb the corporate ladder!
  • Why was the bus driver so bad at making friends? Because he always drove people away!
  • I saw a bus driver reading a book about anti-gravity. It was impossible to put down!
  • I asked the bus conductor if they allow pets on the bus, and he said, ‘Sure, if they can pay the fare!’ .
  • Why did the tomato turn to the mushroom for advice? Because it was in a jam!
  • Why did the bus driver get a gold medal? Because he was excellent at running over pedestrians!
  • My friend asked if the bus was wheelchair accessible, and the driver said, “Sure, as long as your wheelchair has a valid bus pass.”>
  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist my bus.
  • I once saw a bus driver eating a burrito while driving, and I thought, “That’s a wrap.”>
  • I tried to catch the bus, but it kept driving away, so I guess you could say it really threw me under the wheels.
  • Why do buses make great comedians? Because they always have a lot of good material for their “travel” jokes.
  • I told the bus driver he was going the wrong way, and he replied, “No worries, I’m just taking the scenic route through three states.”>
  • Why did the bus become a comedian? It wanted to make all the passengers laugh-cinate!
  • Why did the bus get a ticket? It was caught speeding in a school zone, because it wanted to be a “rebel” bus!
  • I tried to catch the bus, but it kept accelerating. I guess it wanted to leave me in the dust.
  • I used to be a bus driver, but I got tired of people always asking me for directions.
  • I went on a date with a bus driver, but it didn’t work out. We couldn’t find any common routes!
  • Why did the bus driver take his job so seriously? Because it was his route to success!
  • I told the bus driver I needed to get off at the next stop, and he replied, “Don’t worry, I’ll stop driving eventually.”>
  • I told the bus driver I needed to go to the bank, and he said, “Don’t worry, I’ll drive you to your cents!”
  • Why did the bus driver bring a baseball bat? In case he needed to catch a fly ball!
  • Why did the school bus get a flat tire? Because the students were tired of going in circles!
  • Why did the bus driver feel hopeless? Because he couldn’t make any stops without people getting on!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus? “I’m tired of this traffic, let’s run away and join the circus!”
  • Why did the bus go to the dentist? It had a lot of plaque on its tires!
  • I told the bus driver I wanted to go somewhere where nobody knows my name. He dropped me off at a deserted island.
  • I told the bus driver I needed a transfer, so he gave me the number to his therapist.
  • Why do buses never get invited to parties? Because they always bring the worst presents, their passengers!
  • What do you call a bear riding a bus? A grizzly commuter!
  • What did the bus conductor say to the passenger who had no money? “You can’t ride, you’re bus-ted!”
  • I told the bus driver, ‘You must love your job, you get to take people for a ride!’ He just glared at me.
  • I used to be a bus driver, but I couldn’t handle the pressure, so I gave it up for a fare trade.
  • I asked the bus driver if he had change for a dollar, and he gave me a huge smile. So, I said, “No, thanks, I just wanted to see if you’re happy to see me.”>
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he parked in a “no stopping” zone… for a quick rest!
  • Why was the bus cold? Because all the windows were left ajar!
  • Why did the bus go to the kitchen? To ask for directions to the nearest gas station!
  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so I decided to take the bus instead.
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired, and he said, “Nah, I’m always fueled by ‘exhaust’ing jokes!”
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever took a vacation. He said, “No, I’m always on the go!”
  • Why did the bus get a poor grade in school? It couldn’t make any stops without pausing for a rest.
  • The wheels on the bus are round and round, just like my excitement when I see the ice cream truck!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? Because he heard the pay was better up the top!
  • I accidentally got on the wrong bus, but the driver said not to worry because he was going in the same general direction of my destination, which was home.
  • Why did the bus take a break? It needed to de-fuel and recharge its engine with some gas-tronomy!
  • Why did the bus driver stop collecting fares? He wanted to make some “bus-iness” moves.
  • What do you call a bus that tells jokes? A pun-derful transportation vehicle!
  • I saw a bus driver eating a sandwich while driving, and I thought to myself, “Now that’s multitasking!” Until I realized it was just a steering wheel cover.
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of driving in circles. He replied, “I don’t mind, it keeps me on track!”
  • I saw a sign on the bus that said, “Driver carries no cash.” So, I guess it’s time to invest in some bus robberies.
  • Why did the bus driver bring a car seat on the bus? Just in case someone wanted a booster shot of fun!
  • Why did the bus break up with its partner? Because it couldn’t find the right connection!
  • I asked the bus driver if he knew the way to Sesame Street, and he replied, “Sure, just take a right at Oscar’s trash can.”>
  • Why did the bus driver go to the dentist? Because he wanted to improve his “route” canal!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to reach new “heights” of transportation!
  • I told my friend I had a fear of buses, and he said I must be busing his chops.
  • Why did the bus driver get a speeding ticket? Because he had too many passengers on board… in his dreams!
  • I asked the bus driver if I could sing a song on the journey. He said, “I don’t mind, as long as you’re not a sore Adele!”
  • I accidentally got on the wrong bus and ended up at the zoo. The good news is, I finally found my spirit animal: a sloth on a bus.
  • Why did the bus driver always carry a map? He didn’t want to “road” to failure!
  • I told the bus driver my phone battery died, and he said, “No problem, I’ll charge you extra for the ride!”
  • Why was the bus driver always stressed? He had too many passengers “steering” him the wrong way!
  • Why did the bus driver start a gardening business? Because he wanted to transport tulips… and make some green on the side!
  • Why do buses never go to school? They already have too many stops!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music? Heavy traffic jams!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a broom? He wanted to sweep the competition away!
  • What did the bus driver say to the annoying passenger? “You’re driving me round the bend!”
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because his broomstick was in the shop!
  • I got kicked off the bus for telling the driver a joke. Apparently, my puns are too off-putting!
  • Why don’t buses ever tell jokes? They just don’t have the drive for it!
  • I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the gym, he said “Sure, if you can catch it!”
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever tried to avoid hitting pedestrians. He replied, “Oh, I don’t avoid them, I aim carefully!”
  • What do you call a bus that can sing? A tuneful transit!
  • I asked the bus driver if I could bring my pet snake on board, and he said, “Sure, as long as it knows how to hiss the stop button.”>
  • Why was the bus driver so poor? Because he couldn’t make any cents out of his fares!
  • What did the bus say to the car? “I can’t believe I’ve got so many “axles” to grind!”
  • Why did the bus break up with the train? It wanted a little more “tire” in its life!
  • Why did the bus stop at the bakery? To get a little extra dough!
  • I saw a bus driver reading a book while driving and said, ‘Isn’t that dangerous?’ He replied, ‘Nah, it’s just a novel idea!’.
  • What did the bus say to the bicycle? “You’re too tired to keep up with my pace!”
  • I asked the bus driver if he had any spare change, and he said, “Sorry, I only have bus fare.”>
  • I wanted to tell a joke about a bus, but it just didn’t have the right “drive” to it.
  • I saw a bus driver eating a sandwich while driving. I guess he likes to multitask on the road to ham-sandwich-ville.
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite part of the job? The brakes!
  • Why did the bus driver go to therapy? Because they had too many passengers on board, and they couldn’t handle all the baggage.
  • Why did the bus driver get a speeding ticket? Because he couldn’t control his brakes!

Bus Dad Jokes

Bus dad jokes are the ultimate fusion of wit and hilarity that will make you simultaneously groan and chuckle.

They’re the epitome of jokes that are so terrible, they’re actually fantastic.

These quips are the ideal entertainment for family trips, friendly get-togethers, or simply to lighten up your day.

Prepare for some hearty chuckles and eye rolls.

Here are some bus dad jokes guaranteed to tickle your funny bone:

  • Why did the school bus turn yellow? Because it saw the school bananas and got “a-peeling”!
  • What do you call a bus that sings? A tuneful transport!
  • Why did the bus go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling well, it said it had been running a little “bus-y.”>
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t stop talking about wheels!
  • What do you call a group of musical buses? A fleetwood mac!
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t stop talking about his favorite bus puns, it was a real “fare” violation!
  • What did one bus say to the other? “I’m tired of this commute, let’s take a vacation and drive around the world!”
  • Why don’t buses make good detectives? Because they always lose their passengers.
  • Why do buses make great detectives? Because they always have a lot of “clues” on board!
  • Why don’t buses like driving through cornfields? They don’t like getting caught in a maize.
  • Why don’t you ever see elephants on the bus? Because they have their own trunks!
  • Why did the bus get a promotion at work? It was always on the right track!
  • Why did the computer take the bus? Because it missed the byte!
  • What do you call a bus that can fly? A plane… because it’s definitely not a bus anymore!
  • Why did the bus driver become a chef? Because he couldn’t stop whisking people away!
  • What do you call a bus full of lawyers going off a cliff? A wasted opportunity!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus at their wedding? “I love you with all my engine!”
  • Why don’t skeletons take the bus? Because they’ve got no body to go with them!
  • Why did the bus driver invite the octopus on board? Because they needed a few more tentacles to reach their destination on time!
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way on the bus? Because it lost its bearings.
  • Why did the bus driver invite the octopus on board? Because it had many tentacles to hold onto the steering wheel!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road and his hands off the wheel.
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? Because his car was out of straw-tion!
  • Why did the bus driver get a promotion? He was always “steering” the company in the right direction!
  • Why did the bus driver go broke? Because he couldn’t make enough cents.
  • Why don’t bikes ever do well in school? Because they’re always tired of getting schooled by the bus!
  • What’s the difference between a teacher and a bus driver? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” and the bus driver says, “Chew your gum quietly!”
  • Why do buses never go hungry? Because they always stop at bus-staurants!
  • Why was the math test sad when it took the bus home? Because it got a lot of “minus” points!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a spoon on board? Because they heard it was a great way to stir up conversation!
  • What do you call a bus that tells amazing stories? A transportation-teller!
  • Why did the bus refuse to move? Because it had a bad transmission.
  • Why did the bus driver become an actor? He always wanted to “transport” himself into different roles!
  • Why did the bus stop at the bakery? Because it “kneaded” to pick up some fresh buns!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a pillow to work? So they could take a rest stop!
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
  • Why don’t buses make good DJs? Because they can’t find the right track!
  • Why did the stadium get hot on the bus? Because all the fans left!
  • Why did the bus go to the doctor? Because it had a lot of traffic congestion!
  • Why did the school bus break down? It wanted to take a little “brake” from all the kids.
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he didn’t look in his rearview mirror before reversing.
  • What’s a bus’s favorite type of exercise? Running, of course!
  • Why don’t skeletons ride the bus? Because they have no body to go with!
  • Why do buses never gossip? Because they know how to “drive” right past all the rumors!
  • Why was the math test scared of the bus? Because it heard it had a lot of problems to solve!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite song? “The Wheels on the Bus” of course!
  • Why did the scarecrow ride the bus? Because it heard it was going to be a field trip!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite kind of music? Stop and go-ospel!
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired from following the bus!
  • Why did the bus driver get fired? Because he couldn’t make a complete stop at making jokes!
  • What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks? A “transporter”! It can make people disappear at every bus stop!
  • Why don’t some dogs like riding the bus? They’re afraid of fur-eigners!
  • Why don’t eggs tell jokes on the bus? Because they might crack up!
  • Why do buses make great musicians? Because they have their own horns!
  • Why do buses make great comedians? Because they always know how to drive the crowd!
  • Why did the bicycle fall over when the bus passed by? It was two-tired!
  • Why do buses make great detectives? Because they always have the right “routes” to the crime scene.
  • Why did the math book take the bus to school? Because it wanted to have plenty of bus stops along the way!
  • Why do buses never gossip? They just pick up and drop off passengers!
  • Why did the bus driver get a sunburn? Because he didn’t want to miss a stop and forgot to put on sunscreen!
  • How do buses stay in shape? They always make sure to “exercise” their breaks!
  • Why do buses never gossip? Because they don’t want to start any bus-iness!
  • What’s the best way to catch a squirrel on a bus? Act like a nut and it’ll come right to you!
  • Why did the scarecrow ride the bus? Because it heard it was an a-maize-ing way to travel!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder on board? In case they wanted to take the high road!
  • Why don’t buses ever get lonely? Because they always have lots of “passengers” to talk to!
  • Why did the bus break up with the bicycle? Because it didn’t want to be part of a tandem anymore!
  • Why did the scarecrow get on the bus? Because it wanted to be outstanding in its field!
  • Why don’t buses want to get married? Because they always lose their “transmission”.
  • Why did the bus go to the dentist? Because it needed a “new pair of tires”!
  • Why did the bus break up with its girlfriend? It just wasn’t going in the right direction.
  • Why do buses make great comedians? Because they always have a captive “audience”!
  • Why don’t buses want to get married? They already have too many relationships, they’re always on a roll!
  • Why did the bus driver get lost in the jungle? Because the signs said “Stop, monkey around!”
  • Why did the bus go to the dentist? Because it had a tooth-hurty problem!
  • Why are buses like fish? They both have scales!
  • What did the bus say to the car? Move over, I’m the big wheel around here!
  • Why don’t buses ever get lost? Because they always take the right route!
  • Why did the baby bus want to be a police officer? It wanted to “direct” traffic!
  • Why was the bus driver cold? Because he left the windows open!
  • Why was the math test on the bus so hard? They always made you calculate the fare!
  • Why do buses always seem to arrive late? Because they always take the scenic route!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t find the brake… he kept steering in the wrong direction!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he didn’t look forward to going to work!
  • What did the bus driver say to the frog? Hop on, we’re going to the lily pad!
  • Why did the bus driver start a gardening business? He heard it was a “bus-tling” industry!
  • Why do buses always carry umbrellas? Just in case it starts “raining” passengers!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? Because the bus had too many high fares!
  • Why are buses like frogs? They both have lots of legs, ribbit!
  • Why was the school bus so noisy? Because all the students were “rushing” to get a seat!
  • Why did the bus driver get into a fight? Because he wanted to be a street fighter!
  • Why did the bus driver go on strike? Because he didn’t want to sit behind the wheel anymore!
  • Why do buses always arrive at the time they are expected? They have good bus-timing!

Bus Jokes for Kids

Bus jokes for kids are like the cheerful school buses of the humor universe—fun, friendly, and always packed with laughter.

These jokes inspire children to explore language and understand the delight of puns, cultivating a love for humor that’s as exciting as a school trip.

Moreover, bus jokes for kids can turn any mundane ride into a hilarious journey, transforming their daily commute into a source of giggles and chuckles.

Ready for a fun-filled trip through Joke-ville?

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for some hilarious bus jokes that’ll keep your kids laughing all the way to school:

  • What kind of driver never gets a parking ticket? A bus driver!
  • Why did the bus driver wear a hat? Because he wanted to keep his head in the right direction!
  • A double-decker-dabra!
  • Why did the bus driver always wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  • Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school!
  • What did one bus say to the other? “I missed you so much, let’s go on a road trip!”
  • Why do buses never get into trouble? Because they always stay in their lanes!
  • Why did the fish ride the bus to school? Because it didn’t have a bicycle!
  • Because it saw the stop sign!
  • Why was the math test on the bus so hard? There were too many stops to solve!
  • Why are buses like clouds? Because they both carry a load!
  • Why did the bus driver carry a red umbrella? In case he needed to make a quick stop at the bus stop!
  • Why did the bus driver sit on top of the bus? Because he wanted a “roof”-less view!
  • Why did the bus driver carry a red umbrella? In case it started raining cats and buses!
  • On the school buzz!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a spoon to work? Because he wanted to “bus” tables during his break!
  • Why did the school bus become a teacher’s favorite? Because it always takes the students to school on time!
  • What do you call a bus that tells you the weather? A bus-ted weatherman!
  • What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten your mom’s day? The school bus!
  • Why did the bus carry a baseball team? Because it heard they needed a good driver to bring them home safe and sound!
  • Why did the bus stop at the bakery? It needed a little fuel for the journey!
  • Why was the bus cold? Because of all the drafts!
  • Why do buses make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always tend to drive you crazy!
  • A garbage truck’s lunch!
  • What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck driving too fast!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, he was always looking at the bus stop signs!
  • Why did the bus driver go to jail? Because he broke the traffic laws!
  • Why did the school bus turn bright red? It saw the traffic light turn green!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? Because he heard he should take a step up in his career!
  • What did one school bus say to the other school bus? “I’m so tired, I’ve been running all day!”
  • Why did the bus break down? Because it saw a stop sign!
  • Why did the boy bring a ladder to the bus stop? Because he heard the bus driver likes high-stepping!
  • Because it wanted to take them to the big game!
  • Why did the bus driver carry a lunchbox? Because he wanted to have a “packed” lunch on the go!
  • Why don’t school buses ever do well on tests? Because they always get “too tired”!
  • Why did the bus driver put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
  • Why did the math book take the bus to school? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!
  • What do you call a bus that tells tall tales? A big fat liar-bus!
  • Why did the teacher get on a double-decker bus? To expand her knowledge!
  • What do you get if you cross a bus and a bicycle? A traffic jam!
  • Why did the bus driver get a good report card? Because he always stayed on the right track!
  • Why did the bus driver stand on one leg? Because he wanted to stretch his legs!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus? “I’m tired of always being in the driver’s seat, it’s time for you to take the wheel!”
  • Why did the kid take a ladder to school? Because they thought it was a high school!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to reach the high notes on the “melody bus”!
  • How does a bus greet other vehicles? “Hi-ya!”
  • Why did the bus driver sit on a clock during lunch break? Because he wanted to “eat up time”!
  • Why did the school bus get a poor report card? It had too many “stops” on its record!
  • What did the bus conductor say to the passenger who didn’t have any money? “No money? No problem, just take a free ride!”
  • Why did the bus driver get a summer job as a chef? Because he wanted to take the kids on a “grill” ride!
  • Why was the math book sad when it got off the bus? Because it had too many minus signs!
  • What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a school bus? A T. Rex-press!
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  • Why don’t buses ever get lonely? Because they’re always making new friends at every stop!
  • What kind of bus can fly? A “double-decker” plane!
  • Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!
  • What do you call a bus driver who loses their way? A “roundabout” bus driver!
  • Why was the bus so good at basketball? It knew how to dribble!
  • Because he wanted to reach the top of the bus!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite type of music? Stop-and-go-go!
  • Why did the music teacher ride the bus? Because it had so many notes!
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well after slipping on a banana peel on the bus!
  • Why did the bus bring a ladder? Because it wanted to reach the top of the bus stop sign!
  • What do you call a bus that can’t stop sneezing? A-choo-choo bus!
  • Why did the music teacher always take a bus? Because it had good notes!
  • What’s the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows the stops, the other stops the nose!
  • Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t find his way around!
  • Why did the pencil take the bus? Because it wanted to be a “lead”-er!
  • Why do school buses always arrive at school early? Because they have great bus drivers!
  • What does a bus do when it needs to go on a diet? It stops at every “lite” bus stop!
  • Why do bees never ride the bus? Because they are always buzzing around!
  • Why did the bus go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling well… it had too many sick passengers!
  • Because it had a flat tire tooth!
  • Why did the bus driver break up with his girlfriend? She kept saying he didn’t make enough stops!
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite on the bus!
  • Why did the banana go to school on a bus? Because it didn’t want to be a banana split!
  • Why was the bus so noisy? Because it had a lot of honk-y passengers!
  • Why did the bus bring a ladder to school? To reach the high-top seats!
  • Why was the bus so hot? Because it had all the cool kids inside!
  • Why don’t buses ever get tired? Because they always take breaks!
  • Why don’t busses like to stop at the bakery? Because they don’t want to loaf around!
  • Why did the bus driver go to the dentist? Because he needed a little “filling” in his cavity!
  • Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open on the bus!
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t stop talking on the “chatter bus”!
  • Wheel of Fortune!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus at the bus stop? “I’m so tired, I think I need a vacation!”
  • Why did the bus driver become a chef? Because he wanted to make sure the passengers were well-bus-ted!
  • What do you call a bus that can’t stay still? A fidget-spinner bus!
  • Why was the bus so good at making friends? Because it was always willing to pick them up!
  • A funny bus-tender!
  • What kind of bus is always in a hurry? A rush-hour bus!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a pencil and paper to work? Because he wanted to draw some “trans-portraits” of his passengers!
  • Why did the bus go to the library? To catch up on some reading!

Bus Jokes for Adults

Who stated that adults can’t get a hearty chuckle from a good bus joke?

Bus jokes for adults elevate the humor, merging clever wit with a sprinkle of boldness.

Like a crowded peak hour bus, these jokes pack a punch of humor, intelligence, and a tint of audacity for an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are ideal for social gatherings, road trips, or just to break the ice during a tense business meeting.

Here are some bus jokes designed especially for adults:

  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t “brake” the habit of picking up too many fares!
  • Why did the bus driver open a bakery? Because he kneaded dough while driving the bus!
  • Why did the bus driver get a promotion? He knew how to steer his career in the right direction!
  • Why was the bus driver so good at his job? He knew how to steer the conversation in the right direction!
  • Why did the bus driver get fired from the circus? Because he couldn’t stop clowning around and started juggling passengers instead!
  • Why did the bus driver start a band? Because he had a good sense of rhythm and loved to hit the brakes!
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? For “driving” everyone crazy with his terrible puns!
  • Why did the bus driver go to jail? He couldn’t make bail!
  • Why do busses make terrible secret agents? They’re always “exposed” by their big size!
  • Why do buses make good comedians? They always have a “bus”t of laughter!
  • Why did the bus break up with its partner? It felt like it was being taken for a ride!
  • Why did the bus driver get in trouble at school? Because he was caught sleeping in the back of the bus instead of driving it!
  • Why did the bus driver start a baking business? Because he wanted to make some extra dough!
  • Why did the bus go to the gym? It wanted to get in shape for all those turns and stops!
  • Why did the bus driver get kicked out of the comedy club? His jokes were always a bus-t!
  • Why did the bus driver take his fishing gear to work? He wanted to catch some fresh fares!
  • Why did the bus driver get kicked out of the library? Because he refused to be quiet in the hush hour!
  • Why did the bus driver go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw the route maps perfectly!
  • Why did the bus driver get arrested? He was caught in the act of driving everyone crazy with his bad puns!
  • Why did the bus driver quit his job at the bakery? He couldn’t make enough dough!
  • What did the bus say to the car on a hot day? “Don’t you wish you had AC like me? I’m “cooler” than you!”
  • Why did the bus driver start a gardening business? Because he loved putting down roots!
  • Why did the bus driver start a band? Because he wanted to take his passengers on a musical journey!
  • Why did the bus break up with the train? It couldn’t handle the track record and wanted a smoother ride!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? In case he needed to reach the top of the double-decker bus!
  • Why did the bus driver become a chef? He wanted to “transport” his cooking skills!
  • Why did the bus driver carry a baseball bat? In case he needed to hit a home run on the road!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a spoon to work? In case he needed to stir up some trouble on the road!
  • What did the bus driver say to the passenger who couldn’t find a seat? “Don’t worry, we’ll just “drive” around until one becomes available!”
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t “steer” clear of trouble!
  • Why did the baker take the bus? Because he kneaded a break from kneading dough!
  • Why did the bus driver invite the giraffe on board? To help with the “high” ceilings!
  • Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he couldn’t stop picking up fare cases!
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? He couldn’t make a turn signal, he was too busy waving at pretty ladies!
  • Why did the bus get a ticket? It was caught pulling too many G’s!
  • What do you call a bus that breaks down a lot? Public transportation!
  • Why did the bus go to school? To pick up its little passengers of knowledge!
  • Why did the bus break up with its partner? Because it couldn’t handle the pressure of being in a committed relationship!
  • Why did the bus driver get a medal? He was tired of being driven to distraction!
  • Why did the bus refuse to let the penguin on board? It said, “Sorry, we only allow fowl play!”
  • Why did the bus break up with its partner? It wasn’t getting enough mileage!
  • Why did the bus driver become a farmer? He wanted to drive the root vegetables to their destination!
  • Why did the bus driver feel blue? Because he had too many “farewells”!
  • Why did the bus get a poor performance review? It was always “missing” its stops!
  • Why are buses like old men? They both take forever to get to their destination!
  • Why did the bus trip to the dentist take so long? It had too many “fillings” along the way!
  • Why do buses never get invited to parties? Because they always bring too many people along!
  • What do you call a bus driver who can sing? A “car-eo”ker!
  • Why did the bus driver get a divorce? Because he had way too many passengers on the side!
  • Why did the bus driver carry an umbrella? Because he wanted to make sure he always had a “fair weather” ride!
  • Why did the bus refuse to go uphill? It didn’t want to take the high road, it preferred the bus lane!
  • Why did the bus driver refuse to let the elephant on the bus? Because it already had too many trunks on board!
  • Why did the bus driver get into a fight with a passenger? They just couldn’t “handle” the situation!
  • Why did the bus driver get a trophy? Because he always takes the bus to new heights!
  • Why was the bus so crowded? All the passengers were trying to make ends meet!
  • Why did the banana refuse to get on the bus? It didn’t want to be “peeled” off at the wrong stop!
  • Why did the bus driver break up with his girlfriend? She was always trying to steer him in the wrong direction!
  • Why did the bus driver go to therapy? He couldn’t get over the traffic!
  • Why did the bus blush? It saw the bicycle’s tires were inflated!
  • Why did the bus driver invite his girlfriend to the bus? He wanted to give her a private tour of his bus-hive!
  • Why was the bus so crowded? Because it had too many passengers!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen!
  • Why did the bus driver get an award? Because he always took the best routes to pick up chicks!
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, he was too busy checking out the passengers!
  • Why don’t buses ever get along? They always have too many “stationary” arguments!
  • Why don’t buses make good comedians? Because their jokes always seem to go over everyone’s heads!
  • Why did the bus stop suddenly? Because it saw someone running for it and decided to make a run for it too!
  • Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? Because it heard it was a great way to “stalk” up on passengers!
  • Why did the bus driver become an astronaut? He wanted to take his passengers to the moon and back!
  • What’s the difference between a bus driver and a cold-hearted person? The bus driver only has to pretend to care!
  • What do you call a bus driver who can’t stop singing? A tuneful transit operator!
  • Why was the bus driver such a bad comedian? He always drove the audience away!
  • Why do buses make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always run out of steam!
  • What did the bus conductor say to the passenger who couldn’t pay? “You must be a fare-weather friend!”
  • Why did the bus go to the gym? To become a “doubles” decker!
  • What did the bus conductor say to the passenger who couldn’t find a seat? “Just stand over there, we’re a transport service, not a furniture store!”
  • Why did the bus driver get lost? Because he lost his bearings and couldn’t find his way!
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? He was caught in the fast lane, trying to pass as a sports car!
  • Why did the bus driver start a band? Because he wanted to drive everyone crazy with his rhythm!
  • Why did the bus driver start a band? Because he had a lot of drive!
  • Why did the bus driver get arrested? He couldn’t stop hitting the bottle!
  • Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems, and the bus was the last one to solve!
  • Why did the bus break up with its partner? They just couldn’t seem to find a “bus stop” in their relationship!
  • Why do buses make terrible comedians? Their timing is always “off route”!
  • Why do buses never tell jokes? They always get tired of all the groaning passengers!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder on the bus? Because he heard the fares were going up!
  • Why did the bus driver get in trouble with the law? He couldn’t stop picking up fares!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus at the party? “I heard you’re tired of taking people for a ride!” “Yeah, it’s a “fare” comment!”
  • Why did the bus break up with the train? It just couldn’t handle the constant railroading!
  • What’s the hardest part about being a bus driver? Dealing with all the “fare”-wells!
  • Why did the bus driver get a bad report card? Because he was always driving his students crazy!
  • Why did the bus driver get in trouble with his wife? He had too many affairs!
  • Why did the ghost ride the bus? Because it needed a little “boo”st of confidence!
  • Why did the bus turn into a restaurant? Because it couldn’t handle the traffic anymore, so it decided to serve meals on wheels!
  • What do you call a bus that breaks down on the way to a comedy show? A stand-up bus!
  • Why do buses never get along? They always have too many issues to resolve!
  • Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he had a fare share of speeding!
  • Why did the bus driver always carry a pencil and paper? In case he wanted to draw some attention!
  • Why do buses never get married? Because they are always too busy picking up strangers!
  • Why did the bus driver go to therapy? Because he was tired of always having people take advantage of him and throw him under the bus!
  • What do you call a bus driver who tells jokes? A pun-dit on wheels!
  • Why did the bus take the day off? It needed to recharge its “engine”-uity!
  • Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the bus? It saw the traffic jam ahead!
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t stop hitting on passengers, it was an un-BUS-sive behavior!
  • Why did the bus refuse to play cards? Because it was afraid of getting dealt a bad hand!
  • Why did the bus driver become a stand-up comedian? He thought he could get more passengers to laugh at his jokes!
  • Why did the bus break down on the way to the comedy club? It ran out of gas…pains!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite type of workout? “Circuit” training!
  • Why did the bus driver always carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw some blood when marking the wrong answers!
  • What did one bus say to the other bus at the party? “Are you ready to turn up the volume and get this party rolling?”
  • Why don’t buses tell secrets? They tend to spill their guts on the road!
  • Why did the bus driver open a bakery? Because he wanted to “roll” in the dough on his days off!

Bus Joke Generator

Getting the right punchline for a bus joke can sometimes feel like you’ve missed your stop.

(You see the twist there?)

That’s where our FREE Bus Joke Generator drives in to rescue your humor.

Engineered to merge witty puns, public transit humor, and amusing anecdotes, it crafts jokes that are guaranteed to get the wheels of laughter rolling.

Don’t let your humor be as late as a city bus.

Use our joke generator to formulate jokes that are as timely and entertaining as your bus trips.

FAQs About Bus Jokes

Why are bus jokes so popular.

Bus jokes are a universal form of humor, as everyone has had an experience related to buses, either as a passenger or simply observing them in traffic.

They appeal to a wide range of audiences and bring about nostalgia and shared experiences, making them enjoyable and relatable.

Can bus jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Bus jokes can be great ice breakers in social gatherings or casual conversations.

They can help lighten the mood and bring about shared laughter, making them a great tool for social bonding.

How can I come up with my own bus jokes?

  • Think about common experiences or issues people encounter while riding buses—crowded spaces, interesting passengers, delays, etc.
  • Consider bus-related vocabulary (e.g., stop, route, ticket). Look for pun opportunities or amusing phrases involving these words.
  • Reflect on the scenario of your joke. Is it about a funny passenger interaction? Or perhaps a bus-related mishap? Tailor your humor to fit this context.
  • Play around with well-known sayings or phrases and incorporate bus elements into them.
  • Don’t shy away from puns and wordplay. Bus jokes offer a great opportunity for creative linguistics and punny humor.

Are there any tips for remembering bus jokes?

Try to associate bus jokes with specific situations such as commuting, waiting at the bus stop, or even planning a bus trip.

This associative memory can help you recall the jokes when the situation arises.

How can I make my bus jokes better?

The key to a good joke is the unexpected twist.

Share relatable experiences, use the element of surprise, and play around with words.

The more you practice and share your jokes, the better they will get.

How does the Bus Joke Generator work?

Our Bus Joke Generator is designed to provide you with funny bus jokes at the click of a button.

Simply input keywords related to your bus-themed humor or situation, and click the Generate Jokes button.

Within seconds, you’ll have a collection of hilarious bus jokes ready to share.

Is the Bus Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Bus Joke Generator is completely free to use!

Generate as many jokes as you want and keep your content lively and humorous.

Enjoy sharing these entertaining bus jokes with friends and family.

Bus jokes are a fun way to lighten up daily chatter, making each day a bit more amusing with every chuckle.

From rapid-fire one-liners to hilariously drawn-out tales, there’s a bus joke for every situation.

So next time you’re waiting at a bus stop or taking a ride, remember, there’s comedy to be found in every route, stop, and passenger.

Keep spreading the giggles, and let the good times ride and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without buses—imagine, no commute stories and certainly, a bit less adventurous.

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Here's a Joke

30 Funny Bus Jokes

Here are 30 funny bus jokes and the best bus puns to crack you up. These jokes about buses are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of bus dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about buses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this bus humor with others.

Bus one liners

Best bus jokes, final thoughts.

Cartoon graphic of kids with their heads out the bus on a blue background.

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about buses that are also awesome bus jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  • What does a dragon call a bus full of people?  Meals on wheels.
  • Why did the pancake miss the bus?  It was a choco-late pancake.
  • How do fish get to school? They go by octo-bus.
  • How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You poke-em-on.
  • Why couldn’t the skeleton pay her bus fare? Because she was skint.
  • Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
  • Why did the bat miss the bus? Because it hung around for too long.
  • What do bus drivers eat in their sandwiches? Traffic jam .
  • Why couldn’t the elephant ride the bus to school? Its trunk wouldn’t fit under the seat.
  • What did the apple skin say to the apple who couldn’t afford bus fare?  Don’t worry, I have got you covered.

Cartoon graphic of a yellow bus with eyes and a smile on a blue background.

Here are some great bus joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about buses.

  • I couldn’t get my fridge to work this morning, so I took the bus instead.
  • The baby polar bear missed his bus, so he went to school by an icicle instead.
  • A friend of mine got a job as a bus driver because he was so good at telling people where to get off.
  • I was the first person to install trampolines on musician’s tour buses. Now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.
  •  As a result of my giving up my seat on the bus for someone else, I lost my job. Apparently, you’re not supposed to do that when you are the driver.
  • I quit my job as a bus driver. It was driving me to madness.
  • The moose missed the bus so he decided to hoof it.
  • I hopped on a bus earlier today. After a while, the driver told me to sit down like everyone else.  
  • Two croissants are walking across the street. One gets hit by a bus. The other one says, “Oh Crumbs.”
  • Just got my dream job today. I get my own company car with a value of $250,000 and a corner office with a view of the city, Being a city bus driver is a dream come true.

Cartoon graphic of a bus with kids and drivers smiling from their windows on a blue background.

These next funny bus puns are some of our best jokes and puns about buses!

  • Being a bus driver wasn’t fun.  I felt that people were talking behind my back.
  • Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport?  The Bus-tacean.
  • Why didn’t anyone take the school bus to school? It wouldn’t fit through the door .
  • At work, my friend had always gone the extra mile.  That’s why he lost his job as a bus driver.
  • Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods.  It’ll be A-new-bus.
  • How do bees get to work? They take buzz.
  • What did the bus driver say to the frog ? Hop on.
  • How did the explorers get to school? They rode the Colum-bus.
  • What sort of public transportation do Disney characters take? Bus Lightyear.
  • What has a yellow exterior and a gray interior?  A bus packed with elephants going to school.

Cartoon graphic of lots of kids and a bus driver in a bus head on, on a blue background.

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about buses, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny vehicle puns , then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

  • Jokes about boats

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Hi!  I'm Che , and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update  Here's A Joke  posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or  contact me . With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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138 bus driver jokes

  • Why don’t bus drivers ever get lost? Because they always take the route home!
  • What did the bus driver say to the egg? You’re going to crack under the pressure of peak hours!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite band? The Doors!
  • Why did the bus driver refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? Because he was afraid of cheetahs!
  • Why do bus drivers always know the latest gossip? Because they’re always picking up the latest news!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Believin'” – because they never do!
  • Why was the bus driver bad at baseball? He always missed the stops!
  • What did the bus say to its driver? “We’ve got a long road ahead, don’t ‘tire’ out!”
  • Why do bus drivers never get cold? Because they have so many ‘fans’!
  • What do you call a bus driver who can play the piano? A driving maestro!
  • Why don’t bus drivers make good comedians? Because their humor always ‘stops’ short!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite movie? “Speed” – just without the speed!
  • How did the bus driver get so good at his job? Practice makes ‘perfect stop’!
  • What do bus drivers and electricians have in common? They both know the ‘routes’!
  • Why was the bus driver a bad cook? He always missed the ‘stop’ while adding spices!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of clothing? A ‘stop’ hat!
  • Why do bus drivers never play hide and seek? They’re always spotted at the bus stop!
  • What do you call a bus driver who likes gardening? A route-tender!
  • Why was the bus driver always calm? He knew how to ‘brake’ before things got heated!
  • What did the psychic say to the bus driver? I see many stops in your future!
  • Why do bus drivers make great authors? Because their life is full of interesting ‘stops’!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite chess piece? The rook – because it travels in straight lines!
  • Why don’t bus drivers like cricket? They can’t stand the running between stops!
  • How do bus drivers say goodbye? “Can’t ‘stop’ now, I have a bus to catch!”
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite weather? ‘Stop’-ical storms!
  • Why are bus drivers good at meditation? They’re experts at ‘stopping’ their thoughts!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite math equation? Stop + Go = Route!
  • Why did the bus driver get a promotion? He knew all the best routes to success!
  • What do you call a magical bus driver? A transportalist!
  • Why don’t bus drivers play football? They keep trying to ‘pass’ to the wrong team!
  • Why do bus drivers make good detectives? They always follow the right routes!
  • Why are bus drivers bad at poker? They reveal their hands at every stop!
  • What do bus drivers and computers have in common? They both have lots of bytes and buses!
  • Why do bus drivers like clocks? They always know when it’s time to ‘stop’!
  • Why did the bus driver go to therapy? He had too many stops and starts in his life!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite dance move? The bus ‘stop’!
  • What do you call a bus driver who likes to cook? A gourmet router!
  • What did the muffin say to the bus driver? “You’re driving me ‘batty’ with all these stops!”
  • Why are bus drivers good at jigsaw puzzles? They know where every piece ‘stops’!
  • Why do bus drivers like old movies? They appreciate a good ‘stop’ motion!
  • Why do bus drivers never win at video games? They always hit the pause button!
  • Why did the bus driver study philosophy? He wanted to learn about the ‘route’ of all knowledge!
  • Why was the bus driver a good actor? He knew when to make an entrance and ‘exit’!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite vegetable? Route-abaga!
  • Why don’t bus drivers get bored? They always have passengers to ‘drive’ them to laughter!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of story? An epic journey with lots of stops!
  • Why are bus drivers bad at painting? They only know how to draw lines!
  • What do you call a bus driver who likes astronomy? A star route navigator!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite exercise? Stop jumps!
  • Why did the bus driver take up yoga? To help him ‘stop and go’ with the flow!
  • What do you call a bus driver who tells bad jokes? A stand-up tragedian!
  • Why did the bus driver get an award? For his ‘stop-notch’ service!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite fruit? A ‘stop’ical fruit!
  • Why are bus drivers bad at soccer? They think every stop is a goal!
  • Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? To reach the high road!
  • Why do bus drivers hate rollercoasters? Too many fast stops!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite board game? Ticket to Ride!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music? Pop… because it’s full of ‘stops’!
  • Why don’t bus drivers like magic tricks? They can’t deal with all the disappearing acts!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of pasta? Spaghetti Junction!
  • Why are bus drivers good at playing the trombone? They’re used to handling long, windy routes!
  • What do you call a bus driver with no sense of direction? A roundabout expert!
  • Why are bus drivers like surfers? They ride the waves of commuters!
  • Why do bus drivers love puns? They’re experts at ‘driving’ the point home!
  • Why did the bus driver study geography? To know every route by heart!
  • Why do bus drivers like quiet passengers? Because they don’t want to ‘miss a beat’!
  • Why did the bus driver take up knitting? It’s all about following patterns, just like routes!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of book? A travelogue with lots of stops!
  • Why are bus drivers like Christmas trees? They light up when they’re on duty!
  • Why did the bus driver become a gardener? He was used to dealing with ‘routes’!
  • What do bus drivers and DJs have in common? They know how to ‘turn the tables’!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of math? Geometry – they’re always calculating angles!
  • Why are bus drivers like judges? They know when to stop and go!
  • Why did the bus driver go to art school? He wanted to learn to draw better routes!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite drink? Stop and Go juice!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of bread? A baguette – it’s long and straight, like their route!
  • Why did the bus driver get a PhD? He wanted to be a ‘doctor of routes’!
  • Why are bus drivers like lawyers? They know the ‘route’ to justice!
  • Why did the bus driver learn Morse code? For the ‘stops’ and ‘dashes’!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite candy? ‘Stop’ and ‘Go’obstoppers!
  • What do you call a bus driver who likes to fish? A Rod and Reeler!
  • Why are bus drivers like politicians? They know every ‘stop’ on the campaign trail!
  • Why do bus drivers make great archaeologists? They love digging into the ‘routes’ of civilization!
  • Why did the bus driver learn French? To make his routes sound fancier!
  • Why did the bus driver become a baker? He was tired of the daily ‘roll’!
  • What do bus drivers and astronomers have in common? They both navigate by the stars!
  • Why did the bus driver start a blog? To ‘stop’ and reflect on his journeys!
  • Why are bus drivers like pilots? They have passengers’ lives in their hands!
  • Why do bus drivers hate escalators? They can’t control the ‘stops’!
  • Why did the bus driver study architecture? He loves ‘structural’ routes!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of joke? One with a great ‘punchline’!
  • Why do bus drivers love sudoku? It’s all about following the right route!
  • Why did the bus driver take up boxing? He was used to ‘throwing punches’!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of poetry? A road-em – a poem about roads!
  • Why are bus drivers like cats? They’re always on the prowl for the next stop!
  • What do you call a bus driver who likes to race? A speed demon – on break time only!
  • Why did the bus driver start a rock band? He was used to being on ‘tour’!
  • Why are bus drivers like mathematicians? They know all the angles of their routes!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite flower? A ‘rose’ – they love the ’rounds’ they make!
  • Why did the bus driver join the circus? He wanted to ‘run away’ from his usual route!
  • What do you call a bus driver who can play the guitar? A ‘rock and roll’ model!
  • Why are bus drivers like secret agents? They have a ‘license to drive’!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite shellfish? A ‘bus’sel of crabs!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite TV show? “The Amazing Race” – except they’d drive calmly and carefully!
  • Why do bus drivers make good dancers? They know how to ‘move’ the crowd!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of coffee? Espresso – it’s quick, like their stops!
  • Why did the bus driver become a poet? He found beauty in the everyday ‘route’!
  • Why do bus drivers love crossword puzzles? They enjoy finding the right ‘route’ to the answer!
  • Why are bus drivers like firefighters? They both know how to use a ‘hose’!
  • What do you call a bus driver who likes bird watching? A ‘fly and ride’ enthusiast!
  • Why do bus drivers love yoga? They enjoy the ‘balance’ it brings to their route!
  • Why did the bus driver become a brewer? He wanted to make ‘hop on, hop off’ ale!
  • What do bus drivers and bakers have in common? They both make ‘dough’ from their daily rounds!
  • Why did the bus driver become a historian? He was interested in the ‘route’ of all things!
  • Why did the bus driver join a bowling league? He enjoyed ‘striking’ out on his own!
  • Why are bus drivers like sailors? They both navigate using charts!
  • What do you call a bus driver who can solve a Rubik’s cube? A ‘twist and turn’ expert!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of tea? ‘Chamomile’ – it helps them ‘steer’ clear of stress!
  • Why are bus drivers like athletes? They’re always on the ‘run’!
  • Why did the bus driver become a DJ? He loved ‘driving’ the crowd wild!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of cake? ‘Carrot’ – it helps them see the route clearly!
  • Why did the bus driver start a vineyard? He loved the ‘twists and turns’ of the vines!
  • Why are bus drivers like teachers? They both help you get where you need to go!
  • Why did the bus driver learn to play the drums? He wanted to ‘beat’ the rush hour!
  • Why are bus drivers like musicians? They both follow a ‘score’ – or route!
  • Why do bus drivers love horoscopes? They’re always looking for the right ‘path’!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of bird? A ‘bus’tard – because it shares their name!
  • What do you call a bus driver who can cook a gourmet meal? A ‘route’ Michelin star chef!
  • Why did the bus driver become a carpenter? He was used to ‘routing’ out the best path!
  • What do bus drivers and wine tasters have in common? They both appreciate a good ‘bouquet’ – or bus queue!
  • Why are bus drivers like generals? They’re always strategizing the best route!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of cheese? ‘Swiss’ – it’s full of holes, like their route!
  • Why do bus drivers love origami? It’s all about the right ‘folds’ – or turns!
  • Why are bus drivers like postmen? They both deliver people to their destinations!
  • Why did the bus driver become a geologist? He was interested in the ‘layers’ of the earth, like the layers of his route!
  • Why are bus drivers like artists? They both see the beauty in everyday life!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite holiday? Thanksgiving – because they’re thankful for all their passengers!
  • Why did the bus driver learn to play the trumpet? He loved to ‘blow his own horn’!

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Logic Lovely

Logic Lovely

61 Hilarious Bus Puns That Will Drive You to Laughter

Ready to jump on board the fun bus? Fasten your seatbelts as we take you on a hilariously wild ride filled with the best bus-themed puns and jokes! You’ll find humor at every stop, from the silliest one-liners that have you laughing in the aisles, to clever quips that will make you the life of the bus party.

Don’t worry, we promise this journey won’t be a long, boring commute – instead, expect a hysterical journey that’s sure to tickle your funny bones. A total of 61 puns and jokes are waiting to keep you entertained, so sit back, relax, and get ready to roll with laughter. You’re in for one rib-tickling, belly-aching ride!

  • How did the bus end up in the sandwich? It took a wrong turn at the sub station.
  • Why did the bus go to school? It wanted to become a smart drive.
  • Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
  • What do you call a bus full of politicians? A double talker!
  • Passenger: One ticket to New York, please. Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo? Passenger: No, by bus!
  • Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him to madness.
  • What did the bus say to the taxi? You’re just a fare weather friend.
  • Why can’t the kids take the school bus to school? It wouldn’t fit through the door.
  • Why didn’t the bus cross the jungle? It was afraid a lion would stop it.
  • Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
  • Which end of the bus should passengers get off at the end of their ride? It doesn’t matter, both ends stop.
  • Why did the bus sit on its baby? It wanted to be a hard drive.
  • Is the bus running on time? No, it runs on wheels.
  • What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
  • Why can’t the bus play cricket? Because it’s got no drive.
  • My awful day started when I fell asleep on the school bus this morning. What makes it worse is that I was the one driving.
  • What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
  • A man was struggling to get onto the bus, but it was so full people kept pushing him out. “Why should we let you on! ” the passengers shouted. “It’s too full! ”“Because I’m the bus driver, ” the man shouted back. “Can this city bus take me to New York? ”“Which part? ”“All of me! ”
  • Why do school bus drivers have to stop at all railway crossings? That’s how they were trained.
  • Why did the bus pass the stop? Because it was on a roll.
  • What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
  • What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking right behind your back.
  • Why did the bat miss his bus ride home? He was too busy hanging around.
  • Today was a rough day. First, my ex was hit by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver!
  • What’s the most important part of an electric bus? The conductor.
  • What does the bus do when it rains? It goes under a route.
  • Why did bus maintain social distance? It didn’t want to catch a virus.
  • Why did the bus break up with the train? It felt railroaded.
  • Why do the buses have a low self-esteem? They are always getting crushed in heavy traffic.
  • What type of bus crossed the ocean? Columbus.
  • My brother always goes the extra mile at work. That’s why he was fired from his job as a bus driver.
  • Why did the bus stop at the ocean? Tide waits for no one.
  • How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
  • I just installed a trampoline on a musician’s tour bus. I guess you can say they’re jumping on the bandwagon.
  • , ‘How do soccer players travel for their games? By goal bus.
  • I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else.
  • Did you hear all the buses are stopping today? It’s to let passengers off.
  • What is yellow, and doesn’t know how to swim? A school bus.
  • Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
  • What happened to the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
  • Why did the bus apply sunscreen? It didn’t want to get too heated on the route.
  • What did the sheep say when she missed her bus? Oh no, I wool be late!
  • What’s the difference between a school bus and a birthday dinner? I don’t know. Then I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick up my order.
  • Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
  • Why won’t the bus stop at the fish market? It can’t bear the stench.
  • What job can get you fired for going the extra mile? Bus driver.
  • What do you call a bus full of cats? A caterwaul.
  • What’s the difference between a cake and a city bus? I don’t know. Then I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick out my birthday cake.
  • What type of game does a monster play on the school bus? Squash.
  • What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
  • I landed my dream job today! An expensive company car and a view of the city. I love being a bus driver.
  • What do you call a bus on a Indian reservation? A Combus.
  • Why did the bus become a gardener? It heard you reap what you sow.
  • Why did the bus go to the mechanic? It lost its drive.
  • What do you get when you combine a skunk with King Kong? Someone who doesn’t have to fight for a bus seat.
  • Why did the fairy tale princess take the bus to the ball? She’s into pumpkin carriages.
  • I got fired after giving up my seat on the bus for someone. I guess you can’t do that when you’re the bus driver.
  • What did Harry Potter do when the Hogwarts Express broke down? He grabbed a ride on the magic school bus.
  • I couldn’t get my refrigerator to work today. I had to take the bus instead.
  • Why was the bus always empty? It couldn’t handle passengers aggressively.
  • Will the bus stop by the river? Well, if it doesn’t, there’s going to be a huge splash.

And so, we pull into the final stop of our pun-filled comedy ride. These 61 hilarious bus-related quips and jests were just the ticket to transport you to a destination filled with laughter and cheer. Whether you’re a seasoned traveler on the highway of humor, or someone taking a detour into the world of wit for the first time, we’re certain these amusement-packed anecdotes have driven all aboard the fun bus! So, buckle up folks and stay seated – the journey to chucklesville isn’t over. After all, laughter, like buses on a busy route, should never be in short supply!

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Puns Galaxy

100+ Bus Puns, Jokes And One-Liner

Admin

Buses might not always be the most glamorous mode of transportation, but they certainly have a knack for inspiring some witty wordplay. From puns to jokes and one-liners, the world of bus humor is vast and varied . Whether you’re a frequent rider or just someone who appreciates a good laugh, you’re sure to find something to tickle your funny bone in this collection of 100+ bus puns, jokes, and one-liners .

Table of Contents

Funny Bus Puns:

  • Why did the bus driver break up with the school teacher? Because she couldn’t make ends meet!
  • What do you call a bus full of lawyers going off a cliff? A shame… because there were three empty seats.
  • Why did the bus stop blush? It saw the traffic light turn red!
  • How do you know if a bus is female? It misses every third period.
  • Why was the math book sad on the bus? Because it had too many problems.
  • What do you call a bus that sings? A transit van.
  • Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t make ends meet!
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite movie? “Driving Miss Daisy.”
  • Why was the bus cold? Because it left its windows open!
  • How does a bus greet people? “Highway, nice to meet you!”
  • Why don’t buses ever get lost? They always follow their routes!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite dessert? Traffic jam.
  • Why did the bus break down? It couldn’t handle the stress!
  • How do buses communicate? They use sign language.
  • Why don’t buses ever get lonely? They always have lots of passengers!
  • What do you call a bus with a broken horn? A tootless bus.
  • Why did the bus go to school? To get smarter!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite sport? Drag racing.
  • Why did the bus get a ticket? It didn’t have the right fare!
  • How do buses apologize? They express their reg-routes.
  • Why was the bus driver good at math? Because he knew all the stops!
  • What do you call a bus that’s asleep? A nap-transporter.
  • Why did the bus refuse to move? It was tired of being taken for granted.
  • What do you call a bus with a broken tail light? A turn-signal.
  • Why did the bus driver become a comedian? He had the best bus-ted jokes!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite song? “The Wheels on the Bus.”
  • Why don’t buses ever gossip? They always mind their own bus-ins.
  • What’s a bus’s favorite hobby? Collecting fares!
  • Why was the bus always in a hurry? It had a tight schedule to keep.
  • What do you call a bus driver with a sense of humor? Puny!
  • Why did the bus break up with the train? It wanted to see other vehicles.
  • How do buses stay in shape? They do lots of “reps” on their routes.
  • What’s a bus’s favorite type of joke? Pun direful ones!
  • Why did the bus go to therapy? It had too many breakdowns.
  • What do you call a bus that’s been converted into a restaurant? A double-decker diner!

Read Also: Tractor Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Best Bus Jokes

  • Why don’t buses ever get lonely? They always have lots of passengers .
  • What do you call a bus that’s been converted into a restaurant? A double-decker diner .
  • Why did the bus break down? It couldn’t handle the stress !
  • How does a bus greet people? “Highway, nice to meet you” !
  • Why did the bus driver become a comedian? He had the best bus-ted jokes)!
  • What’s a bus’s favorite song? “The Wheels on the Bus” .
  • Why don’t buses ever gossip? They always mind their own bus-ins .
  • What’s a bus’s favorite hobby? Collecting fares !
  • How do buses stay in shape? They do lots of “reps” on their routes !
  • What’s a bus’s favorite type of joke? Pun direful ones !
  • Why did the bus go to therapy? It had too many breakdowns !
  • Why did the bus stop blush? It saw the traffic light turn red !
  • Why was the bus cold? Because it left its windows open !
  • Why was the bus driver good at math? Because he knew all the stops !
  • Why did the bus go to school? To get smarter !
  • What do you call a bus driver with a sense of humor? Puny .
  • Why did the bus break up with the train? It wanted to see other vehicles .
  • Why did the math book sad on the bus? Because it had too many problems.
  • Why was the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t make ends meet.
  • What do you call a bus with a broken horn? 
  • Why did the bus driver break up with the school teacher? Because she couldn’t make ends meet.
  • Why did the bus stop cold? It saw the traffic light turn red.
  • What’s a bus driver’s favorite movie? “Driving Miss Daisy” 
  • What do you call a bus that’s sad? 
  • Why don’t buses ever get lost? They always follow their routes.

Read Also:  Sheep Puns, Jokes And One-Liner

Funny Bus One-Liners

  • Riding the bus is like being on a roller coaster, just without the loops and excitement.
  • Life is like a bus ride, it has its stops and starts, but ultimately, it’s the journey that matters.
  • I asked the bus driver if he had any spare change. He said, “Sorry, I’m just a driver , not a changer !”.
  • Buses are like high school reunions – you never know who you’ll run into or how awkward it’ll be.
  • I accidentally got on the wrong bus today. It took me to the gym. I guess it’s trying to tell me something.
  • Buses are like the internet – full of interesting characters and always taking you on unexpected journeys .
  • You know you’re having a bad day when even the bus driver passes you .
  • I told the bus driver I was cold. He told me to sit closer to the heater. I said, “But there isn’t one!” He replied, “Exactly”.
  • I tried to tell a joke about buses, but it went off the wrong way.
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of driving in circles. He replied, “It’s just how I roll” .
  • I got kicked off the bus for bringing my pet python. They said it was a safety risk. I said, “Don’t worry, he’s a constrictor “.
  • The bus driver told me I couldn’t board with my coffee. I asked why, and he said, “It’s grounds for dismissal”.
  • I told the bus driver I was in a rush. He said, “Don’t worry, we’ll get there when we get there”.
  • Why did the tomato refuse to get on the bus? It didn’t want to end up as squash ed tomato paste .
  • I tried to make a joke about buses, but it didn’t go anywhere.
  • Why did the bus driver become a poet? Because he could always find the right rhyme to get you there on time.
  • The bus driver told me I needed exact change. I told him I had a busload of it .
  • Why did the bus driver become a gardener? Because he loved planting seeds of thought.
  • I asked the bus driver if he had any Grey Poupon. He said, “Sorry, we only have bus ted mustard” .
  • Why did the bus driver get a medal? Because he always went the extra mile .
  • I asked the bus driver if he was tired of driving the same route every day. He said, “Nah, it’s like Groundhog Day, but with more passengers” .
  • Why don’t buses ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted .
  • I asked the bus driver if he believed in ghosts. He said, “No, but I’ve seen some spirited passengers” .
  • Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he always rose to the occasion .
  • I tried to tell a joke about buses, but it drove away from me .
  • Why did the bus driver go to the doctor? Because he was feeling bus -ted .
  • I asked the bus driver if he had any spare tires. He said, “Sorry, we’re all out of spare wheels today”.
  • Why don’t buses ever get jealous? Because they’re always moving forward .
  • I told the bus driver I was late because I overslept. He said, “No worries, I’m used to picking up stragglers” .
  • Why did the bus driver become a musician? Because he could always compose himself under pressure .
  • I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the moon. He said, “Sure, but it might be a bit of a bumpy ride” .
  • Why don’t buses ever get tired of driving? Because they always have plenty of fuel for thought .
  • I told the bus driver I was feeling lost. He said, “Don’t worry, I’m here to help you find your way” .
  • Why did the bus driver go to the art museum? Because he heard they had some fairly interesting exhibits.
  • I asked the bus driver if he ever gets bored. He said, “No way, every day is a new route to adventure ” .

In this collection, we’ve explored a delightful array of 100+ bus puns, jokes, and one-liners that capture the humor and quirks of bus transportation. From puns like the bus driver breaking up with the school teacher because she couldn’t make ends meet, to jokes about bus drivers becoming comedians due to their “bus-ted” jokes, and amusing one-liners comparing bus rides to roller coasters, we’ve covered it all.

These jokes and puns not only bring a smile to our faces but also highlight the unique experiences and challenges of riding buses. Whether it’s the camaraderie among passengers, the unexpected encounters, or the mundane moments turned into humor, buses offer a rich tapestry of comedic material.

In conclusion, the world of bus humor is vast and varied, offering endless entertainment for both frequent riders and occasional passengers alike. So, the next time you hop on a bus, remember to keep an eye out for the humor in the everyday journey.

Alexander

Hi there, I’m Alexander the owner of Punsgalaxy.com. I created this website to inject some humor into your life. I have a passion for laughter, and I’m certain you do too. Let’s exchange jokes, puns, and amusing nicknames together. Let’s fill every moment with joy.

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Hi there, I'm Alexander the owner of Punsgalaxy.com. I created this website to inject some humor into your life. I have a passion for laughter, and I'm certain you do too. Let's exchange jokes, puns, and amusing nicknames together. Let's fill every moment with joy.

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Banjo billy's bus tour: history, mystery and bad jokes.

As Banjo Billy drives to one of seven anchor sites that make up the 100-minute tour, he tells crime, ghost and historical stories about buildings along the way.

The rambling, funky ride called Banjo Billy's Bus Tours, in Boulder, Colo., is equal parts history, crime stories and comedy. It's all woven together by John Georgis — better known as Banjo Billy — in a playful, "choose your own adventure" style.

"You can either choose a PG tour, or a PG-13 tour, or an R-rated tour," he tells one group of riders. The crowd chooses the R-rated version, but they have to work for it.

"If you want the R-rated tour, you gotta say it like a pirate," Banjo says, drawing a bunch of "arrrrghs" from tour-goers. "R it is!"

Overall, the experience is less Pirates of the Caribbean than Beverly Hillbillies . As we ride through Boulder's affluent downtown streets, Banjo Billy's remodeled school bus attracts plenty of stares. And what's better than cruising in a log cabin on wheels that occasionally makes barnyard sounds at pedestrians?

"All right, crime or history?" asks the tour guide. The group wants crime, so he points to a bank on the left — Boulder's oldest continuous bank. "It opened up in 1899. It's also the very first bank in Boulder to be robbed."

Banjo Billy explains that a 71-year-old man took a bus from Denver and used a water bottle as a weapon, claiming it was nitroglycerin.

"I like this story for two reasons," he says. "No. 1, it took almost 100 years for the first bank in Boulder to be robbed. When it is robbed, it's robbed in Boulder style. Robs it with a bottle of water.

"If he would have had a prairie dog in his pocket, it would have been the Boulder trifecta."

One common question on the tour has to do with Georgis himself. How did he get the name Banjo Billy? In 2005, he quit his job as a data analyst and bought a school bus on eBay. Then he remodeled it, raising the roof and removing the windows.

"So, when we took those out it started looking like a shack on wheels, and my friends started laughing at me," he says, adding that his friends said he looked like a hillbilly. "And they started calling me Banjo. But Banjo John doesn't sound very good. So we went with the alliteration. Banjo Billy's Bus Tours."

So far, there's only one place Banjo Billy won't visit in Boulder.

bus tour jokes

The Banjo Billy bus tour starts and ends outside the Hotel Boulderado, at the corner of 13th and Spruce streets. Banjo shares some haunting tales from previous (and possibly still-current) guests, particularly those on the third floor and inside the still-functioning Otis elevator. Courtesy of Vince Darcangelo hide caption

"Talking about unsolved cases, we never have done and never will do the JonBenet Ramsey case. It is not on the tour," he says, explaining to tour-goers that it's "just too darn sad."

Banjo Billy approaches a parking lot next to a green meadow framed by mountains and three towering rock formations called Flatirons. This is Chautauqua Park, where everyone brings out their cameras. But they're not here for the views — they're here for a story about a dumpster.

"So every fall there's a race from that trash can to the base of that third flatiron," Banjo Billy. " The record was broken in 2008 by a guy named Dave Mackey."

How fast, you wonder?

"Dave did that round trip, from trash can to trash can, in 33 minutes, 17 seconds," Banjo says.

That's news to Carolyn Molitor who lives outside of Boulder. She signed up for the tour because she had family visiting from out of town, and says she learned a few things.

"A little bit of history, a little bit of mystery, a little bit of bad jokes," she says.

Molitor says she hopes to return with her friends for another tour because Banjo Billy excels at juggling mundane settler history with funny anecdotes.

"OK, that's the worst joke I know, and that's how I'm going to end the tour. Thanks for coming onto Banjo Billy's. Cheers," he says.

Most of the passengers don't mind some groaners along the way.

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